I could really use stories of people who have financially and emotionally supported their stepkid or stepkids for years putting up with their verbal abuse and then when the marriage ends, the ex turns them against you after all you did. 

For those of you who have been through it, how do you deal with the pain of a second divorce. Especially where step children are involved and ex dh is saying horrible things about you to BM and SD. I help BM pay rent so she is not homeless. I gave my unemployed ex dh a place to live. I did so much I was so horribly treated.

I find myself missing dh and sd. It sounds crazy but I raised sd and her sister for 10 days at a time while he slept in bed. I took care of dh and his dd and helped her through her rages. I feel like all I gave to them is unappreciated. He would get jealous and his mom would too when sd would want to spend time with me alone during a visitation. One Christmas we went to his parents house and my dd was 11 at the time. They had a million gifts for sd to open and one 25$ gift card for my dd.

I still have extreme anxiety caused by the memories of 4 years of visitation rages toward me and my stbx blaming me for his daughter's behavior. Or even worse blaming my DD. I can't get it out of my head how traumatic those visitations...sometimes lasting 10 days at a time...would be for myself and my daughter. I can't take those years back. The visitations were so horrible with her being mean, ordering me around and then insist on sleeping in bed with daddy. I wish I didn't let it go on so long.