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DH tried to get SD to pick up after herself but I end up with more work.

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Here’s the last stupid drama with SD (who’s 17).

DH has been on SD about picking up after herself in the bathroom and not leaving wet towels and clothes on the floor. IMO, at least she’s showering. DH told her a few weeks ago, if she doesn’t pick up the clothes, he was going to throw them out. She didn’t pick up so he put everything he found on the floor in the bathroom in a large trash bag, put it in the garage and told her that he threw it out. SD didn’t care.


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I’ve been wanting to post on here about SD’s meltdowns because the only way I can deal with this is laughing about it. I’ve been keeping a list of all the times she has meltdowns for her therapist and I really wish I could put this on Twitter or live blog the crazy, bizarre reasons she has meltdowns.

SD's nutritionist

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I need to vent about situation with SD’s nutritionist. I had been trying to get help from other moms of special needs kids to see what they actually deal with gluten free/dairy free diets with picky eaters and I felt like I was under attack as “the stepmom” who was clearly not doing everything possible and if I was a “real” mom I would be doing a million other things to help SD.

So this was my Christmas

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Christmas morning DD is 4 so of course she woke up early and wanted to open presents. But SD(16) said she didn’t feel good and wouldn’t get up out of bed. We waited and waited and it got to be about an hour before we needed to go to church and SD still wouldn’t get up.

A few hours later, we had missed the last church service and SD still refused to get out of bed and complained about her head and stomach hurting. We went ahead and opened presents without her.

I wish dealing with SD didn't always complicate everything

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I wish I could relax for the Thanksgiving holiday and enjoy time with my family, but no, of course not. SD has to make everything a 1000x more complicated. My mom's brother and his family are in town. You'd think it would be nice to visit with them. This afternoon they were at my sister's house enjoying her pool and the 90+ degree weather here. SD is 16. You'd think she wouldn't cause more problems than my 4 year old, but she does and just ruins everything.

Equine Therapy

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I had quite a bit of advice about equine therapy in previous blog posts and I wanted to let everyone know that at least at first it did work quite well. SD is SD, so things went south quickly. But I can see how it could be successful. There’s a great equine therapy program about 30 minute drive from us and I was very impressed with everyone who worked there and their facility and they were fantastic with SD.

SD's impact on DD(4) and how to explain things to DD

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My DD is 4 now and starting to understand more about the world around her and asks many many questions about it. This includes questions about her half-sister and I’m not sure how to approach telling a child about some of the bad things that happen and concepts she isn’t ready to understand.

SD’s negative influence on DD worries me, but it’s less of behavior issues and more of the problem of her being around means that DD is exposed to issues like mental illness, drug addiction, moms abandoning their kids than just behaviors.

Skids and Step Extended Family

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We’re getting ready for SD to come back home sometime next week. DH is still trying to figure out when he can get off work and the logistics. The other decision is then he needs to decide on a step-down facility for her so it’s another group of therapists and doctors getting involved in the treatment. I know I need to worry less about them judging us, but I can’t help it. I want to be a good stepmom, but I know I’m not. But I don’t want anyone blaming me for SD being the way she is.

The fundamental issue with SD

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I was going to post this as a rely to a comment in the last blog post, but I thought maybe it deserves a different entry because it was getting rather long and I'm rambling on and on.

I know the common reaction to SD's issues is that DH needs to do more or that he hasn't done enough. Every time she sees a new psychiatrist or therapist, I know they're thinking "how did this kid get this far without more being done!?!?".