I wish dealing with SD didn't always complicate everything
I wish I could relax for the Thanksgiving holiday and enjoy time with my family, but no, of course not. SD has to make everything a 1000x more complicated. My mom's brother and his family are in town. You'd think it would be nice to visit with them. This afternoon they were at my sister's house enjoying her pool and the 90+ degree weather here. SD is 16. You'd think she wouldn't cause more problems than my 4 year old, but she does and just ruins everything.
She doesn't want to be there, but what else can we do with her? I have a large extended family and my mom and sisters live nearby. DH doesn't have much to do with his family and they mostly live out of state. BM is currently in prison, so we can't dump SD off on her and DH doesn't want SD to have any contact with BM's relatives.
My uncle (my mom's younger brother) has kids who are much younger than me and in college & high school. His youngest is a junior in high school and using this trip to go check out some college campuses.
When we first got there, SD was standing off to the side, avoiding eye contact and acting weird. My cousin (the junior in high school) asked SD what colleges she was applying to as a way to start a conversation. SD is in special ed classes, but my cousin had no idea. SD didn't say anything and it was so awkward.
My sister's house has a great pool but SD hates swimming and can't stand getting wet. In the past she's had issues with my sister's kids (they're 5 and and she pushed one of them into the pool because he splashed her. My BIL really doesn't like SD and doesn't want her around his kids or snooping around his house. DH doesn't want to spend the whole time baby sitting SD because honestly he can only stand dealing with SD in very short bursts. After about 15 minutes, he's fed up with her.
Everyone tried to find something for SD to do, but of course that never works. She can't play video games. She somehow hit a button on the remote that switched the tv to the DVD player and couldn't figure out how to get back to Netflix. We had dinner and SD sat at the table refusing to eat anything. My sister tried to fix her something but she was uncooperative and said she wasn't hungry. It was so awkward.
I know my family doesn't want to say SD can't come or to exclude SD or seem unwelcoming, but she ruined the whole thing. My dad subtly asked if there's anyone that can take SD tomorrow so she isn't at Thanksgiving dinner. But there isn't, unless DH stays home and orders pizza. I don't want to ask him to do that but I don't want SD there.