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How to stop the anxiety?

bulletproof's picture

I've been working with my therapist on all of the issues that come with being a blended family. We are currently comparing BM to my mother, sadly, and have been discussing what happens to me emotionally, mentally, and physically when large issues arise with BM.

There is an issue already, despite our recent agreement for the new custody schedule. See, the schedule doesn't just affect DH and I, it affects several other people involved in our work lives. Because of this, we e-mailed BM to confirm what we verbally agreed upon this weekend and low and behold, she sends a response saying she didn't agree to that and wants to meet again.

I'm worried that today after school, she is going to pick SS7 up before he gets on the bus, which is what he does when he comes here. According to our agreement, we are following our normal schedule until next week which means SS7 is at our house tonight. I'm worried because the other people this affects are MY employers, who have thus far been nothing but understanding and flexible. What if they decide they've had enough and they give me the boot?

My heart is racing, my blood is pumping, I'm angry, I'm nervous, and I hate all of that. I hate that there is this constant unsettling in my stomach because no one know what the Crazy is going to do next.

Do any of you experience this now or have you in the past? How do you handle it? It can't be good for me, and I want it to stop because, much to my chagrin, it shows that she has some sort of power over me and I can't stand even the thought of that.

Comments

liks's picture

OK.....I know what you are going thru....its not that she is getting to you....its the fact that you feel like your not in control....that your just a doormat and she is controlling your life.....

look a little deeper....

As a banker/lawyer I had no time to deal with clients where the issue didnt actually concern me....so many people think they can drag you into their issues so that you can hlep them or pick up their pieces or something....

what you HAVE to do...is sit down and work out WHO STARTED THIS SHIT? Who is having the problem? Who 'but for' them saying or doing something....everything would be fine....

once you find the INSTIGATOR Understand that it is them that is causing this....so make them understand....that you will assist and support once they sort THEIR ISSUES OUT...and make sure they do not try to MAKE THEIR ISSUES YOURS!

sometimes doing it like that is easy...sometimes its hard.....but give it a go...it may help you and empower your direction a bit....good luck and (((hugs)))