I'm so torn and broken hearted by the state of the relationship with our (step) children - I wrote on here, out of shear anger, that I wished SD would die. I don't really wish for that. Sometimes I wonder if we'd all be better off if she remained with her mom, but when she lived there, we received our weekly/daily phone calls of how terrible she was being treated. When she is there, I want to save her and when she is here and I know I can't.