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AJanie's Blog

Another update.

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I am settled into my new place. For the most part I feel okay. It is more peaceful by a landslide than the life I was living.

Ex slowly started coming to his senses. He flooded me with messages a few nights in a row. He just met up with me to give me the license plates to his car which was registered in my name. He sobbed to me and came clean. He was addicted to heroin. Snorting it, to be exact. He also smoked crack on occasion. Never when kids were there and mostly when I was working.

Lease is signed.

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Got my key. I start moving in tomorrow after work.

Adorable efficiency apartment with plenty of closet space.

EX told me if I want any money (he owes me easily $10,000) that I have to give him a sincere apology for all the rude things I have said and then he will "help me." Mind you, he OWES me this money and it is not helping me. I have thousands of dollars of debt from everything always being in my name. Financing furniture, xmas gifts for skids over the years when he needed "help", etc.

2 seconds after the separation...

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So I had a feeling EX would not waste any time.

I have an old match.com username (no profile) which I used to help a friend catch a cheating boyfriend. So I logged in and took a quick search for men in my area.

THERE IS DH! Brand new profile, listing himself as separated, naming his 2 children and our dog, and stating that he lives alone (I AM NOT EVEN OUT YET) enjoys a glass of wine after a long day at work (HA, he has not had a steady job in 2 years.) He put that he is looked for women 23-40 in our area.

Good news

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Just got the call. Apartment is mine. It will be ready for me Friday.

I have yet to figure out a truck, I still need more boxes, I have no time off this week, I do not even really know how I will afford living on my own, but I am doing it anyway.

I will miss many things about my old life, but I will not miss his sleeping all the time, lying, irresponsible ways, name calling and gaslighting, bland personality, his ignorant family members, his pompous trashy baby mama. My life was not a happy life and I need to remember that.

Update post

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Bosses are out of office and it is Friday before a long weekend, figured I would post an update for those who have supported me here.

EX and I are still living under the same roof but all of my belongings are cleared out from our bedroom and I am sleepingin skids room. They are gone until Tuesday.

Bye

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I am leaving DH.

Actively looking for an apartment, my parents are looking for me as well, and will begin packing tonight. Will deal with the legal aspect once I am out.

He is back on drugs (although he vehemently denies it). He "hates me" and "can't wait for me to be gone." He has slept through most of his week long visit with the skids, leaving me to care for them. I tried to contact BM several times, no answer from her.

O/T: 5 days quit!

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Steptalkers!

A lot of you suggested vaping as a quit smoking tool. I finally caved and bought a little vape pen with a low nicotine liquid.

I am 5 days cigarette free! And I was around smokers all weekend.

Yay. Thanks for the suggestion.

Daughter of Narcissist Mother problems

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Big news in my family...

My father took a new job that includes a lot of travel. He was VERY bored being retired and submitted his resume to a few places... ended up landing an excellent job with a very high salary. He has an office close by but will be traveling on a bi monthly basis all over the country... as well as internationally on occasion. He plans to bring my mother with him when he can.

The dreaded extended summer stay arrives

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Skids have their annual summer 9 days straight at Dad's coming up. Sad

I am working 5 of the days, in the past I would use paid time off, hahaha, not anymore.

I worry it will be tough continuing my version of disengagement for so many days in a row, specifically with SD who has now taken to calling me "mommy." I've just been ignoring it and letting her call me that. I can't stand BM and honestly I find it funny. (Is that evil of me? Maybe.) }:)

Selfishness on steroids!

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Sorry to blog hog.

When I think DH couldn't be more of an asshole he surprises me once more.

He calls me to tell me he is taking a 2 week trip, in a few weeks, down south to purchase a vehicle ("they are cheaper down there") and staying with his friend.

So he gets a settlement, and this is his first line of business. He needs a new vehicle, yes, but the bullshit about needing to go away and take a nice trip (to relax from a grueling 2 years of sitting on his ass) and not even think to ask/discuss it, just TELL me?????

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