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Reaction to disengagement?

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Submitted by AJanie on Mon, 08/14/2017 - 9:27am

I had a bachelorette party Saturday. I haven't had a night out like that in awhile. I didn't know any of the women, as it was an old high school friend's party who I do not see often. They were all very nice, one was even a stepmother, but she kept saying things like "it just gets better and better!" (?) There is a certain phoniness to women in groups that I never quite understood. Once everyone was sufficiently drunk they started to loosen up and it became fun.

Anyway. In stepworld...

Bets

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Submitted by AJanie on Wed, 08/09/2017 - 9:59am

I guess even when attempting disengagement you still hear things.

SD was obviously aware that I was "missing" the weekend before last (DH told her I was on a "trip") and she could feel the tension when I returned. She also has been known to press her ear to our door when we are having adult conversation.

In typical SD fashion, she ran to BM and the boyfriend and filled them in about the rocky state of our relationship.

Haircuts and other small thrills

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 08/08/2017 - 1:50pm

I don't have any updates regarding me leaving DH or moving out, since I haven't done either.

We haven't fought, or even really spoken all that much, in 7 days.

I completely disengaged from the skids when they were over and it felt wonderful. I did not ONE thing for either of them. I plan to continue this hands off approach.

When does it stop? It has to eventually.

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 07/25/2017 - 9:24am

BM is at is again. Did not show for drop off or respond to his texts. He is back to work now and needs to go to do quick 2 hour job, he is waiting with a sitter at the house for skids. He calls and she starts babbling, barely taking a breath, about all of the problems she has with him (she needs more money, he didn't answer her phone call while he was on the river with SS last weekend, then she starts about how I didn't answer either (I blocked her after she called me 5 times in a row and then threatened me), it isn't fair, etc).

People Overload

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Submitted by AJanie on Wed, 07/05/2017 - 9:12am

Ever want to just shut off your phone, shut down social media, and just ignore basically everyone in your life?

I have parents who travel constantly and send shallow "xo, wish you were here" texts once in awhile with the latest photo of them sipping a cocktail at some now location.

I have a long time friend who still lives with her parents at close to 40 because she cannot seem to stop sleeping with her on again off again ex or gather the courage to get her own place. I can't really seem to keep listening to her tell me about it lately...

O/T heavy stuff

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Submitted by AJanie on Fri, 06/30/2017 - 9:19am

It's Friday, hurrah, and my mom just gave me some sad news.

When I was a kid, my mom had a close friend from work and she would bring her son over who was my age. We would play outside, go see movies, etc. As we got older I saw less of him.

He grew up to be extremely KIND as well as a drop dead gorgeous guy; he even did some modeling. He was a retail store manager and had a girlfriend... his future looked bright.

Summer = more overnights. Here comes the anxiety and panic.

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Submitted by AJanie on Tue, 06/27/2017 - 8:15am

So this week starts more skid visitation because of summer, including weeknight overnights. I already feel the anger and rage simmering below the surface. I dread it and then I am mad that I dread it because this is something I need to come to terms with. We have come too far in our relationship to have the skids set us back due to arguments and miscommunication.

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