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Lease is signed.

AJanie's picture

Got my key. I start moving in tomorrow after work.

Adorable efficiency apartment with plenty of closet space.

EX told me if I want any money (he owes me easily $10,000) that I have to give him a sincere apology for all the rude things I have said and then he will "help me." Mind you, he OWES me this money and it is not helping me. I have thousands of dollars of debt from everything always being in my name. Financing furniture, xmas gifts for skids over the years when he needed "help", etc.

Last night he pulled out a back pack full of cash and told me I wasn't getting any of it because I am a rotten c*nt.

So, now I have to play nice and be apologetic in order to be able to afford to cut off his phone line, pay up electric and transfer it, pay off other bills and also get my car fixed that he drove for 2 years. He has virtually no assets, so it isn't like I have many options.

Regardless, I am out of there tomorrow. Thanks for continuing to listen to my therapeutic rants.

Comments

justkeepstepping's picture

That's what I was thinking too. Where the heck did he get a back pack full of cash?? Did I miss where he drained the accounts or something?

hereiam's picture

He really is an @$$hole isn't he?

I understand playing nice but do you really think he will give you the money? I truly hope so.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Get him drunk off his ass...pass out...and take the damn cash.

hereiam's picture

Right? Shouldn't be too hard to get him to pass out. Shoot, she probably won't have to get him drunk, just wait a bit, he will get drunk/drugged up on his own, maybe tonight.

princessmofo's picture

Don't get sucked in to his game. I would be willing to bet he has no intention of ever giving you a dime, no matter how nice you were. It's simply another way for him to gain control. I'd screenshot his Match.com account info and send it to him once you move and tell him to take his money and stick it up his rear. The days of controlling you are OVER.

hereiam's picture

I have my doubts about him giving her any money, as well. He's had the money for a bit and hasn't bothered to give her a dime, plus, he knows he's losing his sugar mama.

ESMOD's picture

AJ... Call those utilities and tell them that you are willing to be responsible up to X date.. after that.. they can cut it off.. or he can call and give them HIS information.

They generally don't require it to be paid up in full at the time you give them this notice. Even if his credit is crap.. they will put it in his name if he gives them a big enough deposit. He has your 10K.. in cash, so no problem there bucko.

Do not let those bills carry on when you don't live there. He will never pay his portion and you will end up screwed over.

Make the calls today. Tell them to cut it off and send the final bill to your new address.

He isn't going to pay you back. No reason to think he will.. so I would just accept that as hard as it is to know he took advantage of you.. no reason to let it fester longer.

secret's picture

Record it. Record yourself right before seeing him, saying exactly that... that he owes you that money yadda yadda.. then record yourself apologizing... record him giving you the cash... then record yourself telling him it was all recorded and you didn`t mean a word as you drive away.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Actually, it may not be a bad idea to take a snapshot of him with the cash and send it to your lawyer. Even if the debt is in your name, it's half his. Let him pay his part. When he says he does t have cash, whip out the photo.

May or may not work. I'd just pay to get the divorce finalized then deal with the debt. Worst case scenario, file for bankruptcy. Not ideal, but better than playing nice and kissing butt.

ESMOD's picture

Filing for bankruptcy is not quite as "easy" as it used to be, but it is quite likely that AJ would end up with a lot fewer debt obligations if she went that route. It is probably going to be more successful than getting her EX to give her money he owes her.

It's too bad she couldn't find that "pay back AJ" list again in his writing }:)

Even though it stays on your record, you can usually get loans within a couple of years of filing.. so it is not a permanent mark.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Buy a bottle of his fave, let him get drunk, and take YOUR money. This jerk is certainly showing his true colors.

BethAnne's picture

Just being a boring Nancy over here but as fun as taking his money sounds, don't open yourself up to charges of theft. When you have the time look into taking legal action to getting the money back if he still has not started paying you back. If that is not possible accept it as the price to pay for getting away from him and a good reminder to avoid him and others like him in the future.

I hope the move goes ok tomorrow.

WTF...REALLY's picture

What I'm wondering is this is a bag of cash. And she lives there. Who's to say it's not her's?

BethAnne's picture

It might ben possible to get away with it but if it is workers comp money there will be a paper trail and how would AJ explain suddenly having a ton of cash? Now if she were to take some money such that it was hardly noticeable that might work better, he might not notice it gone and it is hard for him to say how much he has spent where previously to officially account for how much is missing. I however am far too honest to go around stealing even when the money is owed to me and I think I might get away with it. I would also be paranoid about being caught. Much better to go the legal route.

AJanie's picture

He has made himself scarce. I doubt I will see him again anytime soon.

Unfortunately, he wants me to beg him for money and help and it is a game to him.

He has always been extremely awful with money and primarily used cash since he did not understand the concept of debit cards. He is a moron. I am humiliated I ever loved him. Truly, I feel hatred.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Aw, AJ, don't feel like that. Many of us have been there, hon. It's a hard lesson to learn. Just don't repeat it. xoxo

advice.only2's picture

Much as I'm sure the money would be appreciated you know he won't give you any, even if begged and pleaded. Keep your new found self respect and just leave.

ESMOD's picture

This is great advice. I had an EX BF who was a virtual clone of her ex... drugs.. stealing/borrowing money from me etc.. he owed me thousands... I was also humiliated I let myself get taken so badly and you think you need to stay or do whatever to get paid back.... and guess what? They don't pay you.. they use that money to lure in their next victim.

Just write it off.. consider it the price you paid to evict him from your life. Sucks, but beats the constant games he will play with you.

StepUltimate's picture

Take any evidence & call those utilities, but stay on the high road (morally, not pharmaceutically like your ex-creep!) and let 100% of his bullsh*t lies remain lies. You're self-funding of the school of hard knocks and esrned an A+ already, now you've graduated! My 2 cents, anyway. Very proud if you!

Icansorelate's picture

Call the utilities and end the service in your name.

Take whatever proof you have of him owing you to your divorce lawyer and make it part of the divorce settlement.

After that consider whatever you do not get back or owe a stupid tax. most of us have paid one at some point in our life. The good news, is that it really is a small price to pay to be rid of him.

Go forward with your head high. Living well really is the best revenge.

Hugs, you will not only be fine, you will be great.