The moving in jitters, I would love expert advice.
I will be moving in with my SO Aug 1.
The positives: I won't be signing another binding lease, I will be living with the man I love (and... his kid) and I will be saving some money/paying off debt as well.
The negatives: A high energy/behavioral problem child around half the time.
I care about his son but he is a terror. I suppose a lot of it is normal almost 5 year old stuff but he does tantrum far too often and is extremely defiant and off the wall hyper-active. He has no structure at his mother's and likely never will.
BUT fortunately, his mother is now taking him half the time. I have chosen, for my sanity, to "play nice" with this woman. As far as I am concerned, I am lucky that she is so laid back. She may be a subpar parent and a liar, ex-addict and thief, but she stays totally out of our business, is completely friendly to my face and agreeable pretty much with anything and everything my SO wants to do. I decided I want it to stay as drama free as possible, so although I think she is a huge loser, I am going to be kind and empathetic as best I can. This is NOT easy for me. I am used to BM drama. For some reason, it is taking a lot for me to adjust to the fact that this doesn't have to be a battle.
My only gripe with the 50/50 situation is I feel like she is extremely unstable and unpredictable and at some point it wouldn't surprise me if we end up with his son full time (again). I am going in with my eyes wide open that this is a possibility.
Upon moving into his house, I want to make it feel like mine as well. It has a very masculine energy, too much white wall space. I also need our room to be my safe haven, he is good about no child playing in the bedroom, thank goodness. He is a strict but good father and he 100% treats me as an equal authority figure with his son. He doesn't put his child on a pedastal like my POS ex did.
Step veterans: this is my round 2 attempt at a loving, healthy relationship with a kid involved. Those who know me from this forum are aware that my last go at step life was hell on earth. Any tips as I prepare to move in? Things I need to establish now to help myself feel happy and comfortable in my new living situation?
*Just as an aside, I have 100% decided to go ahead with this move, renting another apartment alone is not something I want to do at this time. Although, in the event this does not work out, I wiill be ready and able to move back out on my own (probably in a better financial position, as well).