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Don't Drink The Golden Uterus Kool Aid!

Healyourslf's picture

I had to share this article as it explains the "Golden Uterus" complex quite well.  I know that many SMs on here are dealing with high conflict BMs and SKIDS and thought the article would be beneficial knowledge.

Jcksjj's picture

This article is pretty dead on. BM told me DH word for word that "you owe me because I am the one who decided to have SD." Referring to the fact that she wasn't sure if she was going to keep the child because she wasn't sure who the dad was. 

I think it really hurt her perception of reality when he went on to have another child and was forced to realize that she wasn't unique or special for getting pregnant. 

strugglingSM's picture

DH always hears, "how could you do that to the mother of your children?!!" from BM. This is in response to any number of things that have nothing to do with Skids, including not covering BM's tax debt (that she took on in the divorce decree and that the IRS determined that DH wasn't responsible for). 

MIL also has a tendency to say this to DH...."but, she's the mother of your children..."

Of course, neither woman blinks an eye when treating DH like a glorified babysitter or as if his sole purpose is to make BM's life easier and give her whatever money she desires. Apparently, there's no "but what about the father of your children?!!"

Notup4it's picture

This article was so spot on to HCBM. I especially loved the last part on how to deal with them and the kids- really puts things back in perspective... and sent it to DH. 

I always feel like when we are complying with her rules that we are essentially just allowing her to do this to us. DH will do almost anything to see the kids, even when the terms are not what is in the CO, and are fully around what crazy BM is demanding. I feel like he should say “CO or not interested”.  It is all a big game to her, and just a way for her to keep control over him and our lives. We don’t even talk to her (at all), but she still exherts her control by using the kids as little soldiers. BM absolutely refuses to listen to judges or the Co

I actually wouldn’t mind getting in contact with this therapist for some one on one’s so she can help guide in exactly how to deal with it all.  

We cannot win this one unless we walk away. I feel awful for the kids, but they are merely pawns to her and there is really zero we can do about it. She needs to be shut down and pretty much just refusing to listen to her alterations to the CO is just continuously feeding her the power and ego she needs to feel good.

Rags's picture

Great article.  It describes both my SIL (bros wife) and my wifes sister to a T.   These are women who are decidedly non special other than squeezing out puppies.  My brother's kids are exceptional. Smart, accomplished, hard workers, etc...

 My wife's sister's kids... are just turds off of the same manure pile as their disgusting mother.