I overstepped a BM boundary, don't care, not sorry
My SO's son has some developmental delay that is becoming more of an issue now that kindergarten is around the corner. He also has behavioral issues that seem consistent with oppositional defiant disorder (he is basically a constant 24/7 screaming & swearing asshole to get a rise out of authority figures) - this is my google research, not claiming to be an expert.
Everyone who comes in contact with this boy recognizes that something is "off." Early intervention 2 years ago would have been beneficial.
BM (well, BM's mother if we are being technical) generally handled his yearly pediatrician appointment, and SO asked her a couple weeks ago to request a referral to be evaluated during his physical. When he asked her the outcome she gave him some story about how the doctor was "looking for a place" to do the evaluation and was "calling her back." A week goes by and he asks her again, her response is that the doctor called and the only places are "down near her" and she will look and see if there is "one near him." Another week now has gone by... it appears she's forgotten about her child's neuro-devlopmental issues, but she HAS remembered to change her facebook relationship status to honor her latest felon and has taken the time to post dozens of snapchat photos of the 2 of them in bed, tangled in her marijuana scented, unwashed sheets, with the money stacks emoji, so her priorities per usual are in the right place.
I love my SO. With that said, I do not want to ever live full time with a child who has undiagnosed and untreated behavior and learning issues, I just don't. And it is not fair to this child (who I have zero bond with, he doesn't make eye contact, fights and yells constantly and just generally doesn't do it for me... although every once in awhile when he is tired or asleep he is cute). So it would be wonderful if they helped him out now so he can do well in kindergarten (and I can make an informed decision as to if I can ever live with him in the future.)
I got a little long winded. Point of this post is that I overstepped boundaries, broke my "don't get too involved" rule and simply looked up a few organizations that take his insurance, called around and found a place that can take him in a couple of weeks -without a referral. This took about 7 minutes from start to finish. Then I called SO and informed him I may have overstepped, but I found a place to evaluate his son, to which he responded "this is one of the reasons I love you AJ."
It feels good to be appreciated, even if it is for doing something I shouldn't have to do, but is simultaneously a reminder of how incredibly useless the BM is, and how much my SO is going to have to STEP UP and STAY STEPPED UP in this department. We shall see!