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May I be petty for a moment? Thank you.

AJanie's picture

Can I be petty?  I have some pettiness just bubbling up inside and figure why not take it here.

I've been trying and succeeding at being relatively tolerant and positive about BM and the kid because my SO is (mostly) worth the tolerance, but BM did a few things recently that are worthy of posting.

She is seeing more clearly now that SO and I are serious... so she is freaking out a bit.  Really ramping up the relationship with the new guy, crying before drop offs and getting the kid upset about leaving her, etc.  

SO tells her we are taking kid on a vacation end of month.  So, obviously you all know what happens next... her and new boyfriend immediately book a trip at a childrens resort and whisk the kid away before our trip. 

I know, I know, I shouldn't look.... but she is posting all sorts of albums and it is slow at the office...

Family photos of her, new boyfriend and kid, vacationing at an all indoor kiddie resort in the summer.  Photos of her, taken by new boyfriend, soaking seductively in 4 inches of water in the bathtub in kiddie resort hotel room, with a glass of wine in hand. Lots of quotes and emojis about "her loves." 

She tries to be nice, showed up on fathers day to get kid with a card, but she just freaks me out.  No concept of boundaries.  She is very young.   

I had to be petty and get it out. But anyway, hopefully the kid has a fun time and that she enjoyed her lukewarm soak and sutter home wine at a kids hotel. Making memories is what matters.


StepUltimate's picture

... but sure is a good thing you can vent here on ST because my guess is the immature BM is trying to get under your skin. Hands down you outclass that by 10 miles. 

Keep breathing, take it easy on yourself. I too sometimes google our BM just to gag & reconfirm what she's up to in her little dark triad mind. 

AJanie's picture

It is too tempting to look when the social media is wide open!!  I get a kick out of it.

moving_on_again's picture

I am guilty of checking on BM as well. I couldn't figure out why all three skids contacted DH yesterday. I see now that BM went with her parents and sister on vacation a few states away. Now it makes sense she didn't try to take over the day! I am surprised she didn't take any of the kids with her, though. Maybe she tried, who knows. 

Letti.R's picture

I would caution you to be careful here.
Our thoughts become the framework for our reality.

Based on this post, which I do note is your "petty" release, please be careful.
You are setting up the dynamics for yourself to start a resentful downhill slide battle with BM.

In your earlier posts you were certain not to get sucked into the negative step dynamic  with a BM and a skid. 
You have been there before.
It is not what you want for yourself.
It is good to come here and vent and rant.
However, please be careful with your own thoughts and attitude towards the skid's mother, not to start the same previous spiral.


ESMOD's picture

My thoughts are if I can't just "roll my eyes or shrug my shoulders" at what I see posted then I don't need to be FB "stalking".  Honestly, you have zero control over what the woman does or what she posts about.  The only outcome is apparently a ramping up of resentment towards her.  That is not a great thing because it will color your interactions with her going forward and you get to attach all sorts of meanings and intentions to her posting and actions that may/may not even be true.

Did I ever look at my DH's EX stuff?  Yes.. but mostly to laugh at her MOTY posts... lol.  If you can't just take it for what it is... you have to stop yourself from looking.

sovulnerable's picture

A very similar situation (BM recently broke up w said boyfriend). BM decided to finally get a boyfriend after a "6 month dating hiatus" (her insta-words, she is obsessed with her insta) and 2 months of "full moon love rituals" and they dated for maybe 3 months, the whole time she involved SD9 and posted photos of them together with her BF's kids etc. It seemed really weird that she'd been single for almost the entirety (one brief stint, moving in with a dude with SD9 for ONE WEEK before she "realized it wasn't the right person or time" or what the F ever) of her and my SO being broken up (something like 5-6 years) and then all of a sudden found THE MAN OF HER DREAMS. (weird meaning- i see u b***h and ur competitive BS) Told SD9 he was the nicest man she ever met. Had SD9 going with her for SLEEPOVERS at his property and home for the entirety of said 3 month relationship and would even incessantly call and text her on SO's days asking "hey, I can come pick you up right now do you wanna come with me to BF's house to spend the night tonight?". Poor SD9 is such a wonderful girl with such twisted and confused boundaries due to this (and some of her dad's sh*t too, ngl). Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, BM's BF joins her and SD9 on their YEARLY TRADITION of going camping for a week at a festival nearby and they break up by the end of it. BM tells SD9 (BM refers to her as her life partner and tells her everything and I bet even maybe about sex :(  -- ) that they broke up because he "wasn't my type". I was in shock. Very worried about SD9's dating future but SO F-ING GLAD that SO and I are here to show her what a compassionate, loving, and stable relationship looks like.


Sorry to vent on your post but- I FEEL YOU. And I check her social media every now and then because she will straight out admit to having SD9 skip school because she "wanted to spend more time with you mama" amongst other things... When I first started out as Step-Girlfriend it would make me feel bad and jealous for their relationship, but as I've come to know SD better and also BM, I realize how unhealthy their no-boundaries co-sleeping relationship really is and don't feel so bad anymore, just check in to have a laugh and feel a bit better about myself -- also petty but F it!