So after talking to my mom & filling her in on all the details I feel much better. Lighter. I'm confident I'm doing the right thing for my BD's. They do not deserve the treatment SD13 dishes out. I've made it quite clear our standards of behavior & SD13 cannot seem to be able to adhere to them. I'm not going to have separate rules for our kids - they all have to follow the ONE most important one. Always treat family with respect. Arguments happen no doubt but there's a line you do not cross & she's violated that standard many times.

My girls came home yesterday after a weekend with their dad & a week with their grandparents & both let me know they have zero interest in seeing their SS13 again. What happened a few weeks ago was enough for them. They've witnessed her behavior & up until now, while they didn't understand if they were willing to overlook it for the good of their family & SD. Now they've had it (as have I). For the love of my DH & the family I tried reaching out to her to talk & try to move toward reconciliation & received no response.

So after all the horrible drama that went down last week I've been doing some serious soul searching. My DH & I are mending our relationship thankfully. I truly feel for him having to live with the train wreck that is his DD13. We both agree we have to come up with a plan to live peacefully with his kids (very part time). I've decided I cannot be responsible for his kids in any way. Disengaging is my plan going forward. No more laundry, cleaning their room, buying them anything, cleaning up after them or any involvement outside of being cordial & civil in their presence.