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4teenagegirls2SDs's picture

Now I'm struggling with the thought that SD13 is able to use "I'm just not ready to talk" as an excuse to put off resolving our issues. She knows we're all hurting over this. Myself, my husband, his mom, my girls, her sister & she's given no thought to our family & our pain. I'm finding it very difficult to understand how she can continually put her needs above everyone else's pain. Given what she's done in the past when forced to communicate when she's not ready it easier just to let her ignore the situation. It hurts me to know we can be ignored as if we no longer exist & our broken hearts can go unacknowledged.


twoviewpoints's picture

Isn't just you and your two daughters (her stepsisters), SD has cut off. She's still seeing Dad outside the home. Lives with her sister (except when SD9 has time in your home). Can see Grandma (your MIL).

Seems the only ones she's cut off and isn't "ready to talk to" is you and yours. You've also stated your daughters don't want SD back nor have anything to do with her. I guess I'm just not 'getting' all this "pain and heartbreak" you're writing about.

Stop trying to text/call her and force the kid to communicate with you. Let her mother and father deal with their daughter. This isn't your hand to play.

4teenagegirls2SDs's picture

You're right. It's just so hard to see my DH suffering with this. I wanna help but there isn't much I can do. Supporting him is my only option. He's upset with me & the whole situation & im feeling the only way I can help is to try to mend things. It's just not possible while she's unwilling to communicate. I'm going to stop all attempts to talk with her as it gets us no where.

4teenagegirls2SDs's picture

& because he's upset in general. I don't think he realized until now how much her negative behavior effects me & goes against the very fiber of my being as far as respect & family goes.

4teenagegirls2SDs's picture

Agreed. There's definitely a sense of blaming others. When she got into trouble @ school it was the other kids being bully's & her just defending herself. Although she was the one suspended & eventually pulled out & placed in a special school.

The new school year & her going back to "regular" school will usher in a whole new host of blog entries from day 1 mark my words. Setting her up to fail 100%.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Wait until she gets older and does things to you on purpose (I was told- by her sister), like leaving your name out of the paper (as spouse). You ask her to talk to YOU about it, because your husband does NOTHING, and she says it is all in the past to her and refuses to even discuss what she has done to you-to you, to bring closure.

I would like to tell you it gets better, but if this is the attitude you are dealing with now...wait until they are adults. Just prepare yourself emotionally and mentally now.

4teenagegirls2SDs's picture

Every time she does something to me, her sisters, my husband, her gramma it drives me further away from her & she doesn't learn or understand.