So, 3 years married and I just finally heard my spouse say what I already knew and kept stating.. She was feeling guilty about how she left her past and felt like she abandoned her former spouse and his family. All of this pressure had been placed on me to always do so much to ensure everyone else was comfortable despite the disrespect to our marriage and to me. I've explained this to her countless times. How she always bent to him and took his side even when he was in the wrong. I don't communicate with her ex and never met him.

Does the sadness of failed family blending every truly go away? DH and I have been very happy together and today is actually our anniversary. And I should be feeling celebratory but tbh, I'm struggling. When we got married, 7 years ago, all 4 of our kids were by our side, cheering us on. Our extended families and friends were there. (As fast as as we knew) there wasn't a single objection to our marriage. Even our exes were supportive. And then things changed drastically, DH is now no contact with his kids and everyone in his family other than his mom (very low contact).

Ok I have to rant a bit here. I follow SS12 on his TikTok and we only created an account to monitor SS on it a few years ago and honestly I think he has completely forgotten I am his friend on there and can see his content. His content is mainly his BMX riding and him playing sport so it's nothing too drastic. 

This has continued to be a problem for years!! We have SS12 full time, mom has no custody or visitation. I have argued and pleaded with DH for years to stay on top of SS room. It is absolutely disgusting. This weekend I got fed up of smelling it from his bedroom and went in there myself. Found a disgusting amount of trash, junk, clothes, EVERYWHERE you could barely see the floor. Found 2 bottles of URINE because he was too lazy to walk literally 5 feet to his bathroom. His floor is wet and has yellow stains which he claims is from sleep walking at night.

Good lord, if we could have one week without a problem...

To recap, last time SS14 went back to his mom's, I discovered he had taken a nearly full bag of chocolate candy I had bought. Also, a drawer to his bedside table was missing.

Wow! I can't believe last time I post something was 2 years ago.

Life hasn't always been all rosy and rainbows, but I feel now I finally kind of learn how to center myself. Not without a cost though, I've gone through so many different cancer treatments, and just finally be at a stage that I don't need to go to the hospital anymore. It was a blessing that I was able to find out before the cancer cell spread. I do feel like the whole experience let me rethink how I should treat myself and my love ones. 

You all may remember that the diablas26&28 left the USA to live in a foreign country for 3 months. OSDiabla and YSDiabla moved into an apartment together. It would be entertaining to be a fly on the wall watching those two fight it out in a shared space. Both are so self-centered, blame everyone else for all of their problems, take no personal responsiblity and are hell bent on everything being "fair." I am sure they labor and nit-pick over every little minute detail. Both are screamers and YSD is a biter and hitter.

DH and I are dealing with a HCBM. We are likely going back to court soon to redo CO for visitation schudule. HCBM is a very greedy and manipulative person and will for sure be asking for more child support. I make a lot more than DH and she knows it.  We live in Massachusetts. Does anyone know if they can factor in my income in determining DH's child support payments? 

But things have been really good since SD15 has decided to remove herself from our family and stopped coming for her visitations. I'm not sure if you recall but the last time SD15 came ( about 2 months ago ) she started drama every day that she was here, she talked back to DH, she lied to BM about DH and ultimately created a huge fight between BM and DH. After DH sent SD15 a text explaining to her why her behavior was wrong, hold her accountable for her lies SD basically sent a text back putting on the blame on DH and myself. She even said that DH was "stuck" with me because we have child.

Hey, y'all -- 

Just love to pop on here and float my ruminating thoughts around.

I was thinking, how many of us feel a general disgust in even neutral/casual conversations with SKids?  Do you ever notice everyone they chat with, Bios included, the whole conversation is transactional?