So as I contemplate whether or not to pack it in and be done with this crazy situation with dh, I can't help but wonder if I will be screwing up my bios...yet again. My kids were already abandoned by their biological father. A man who was incapable of loving anyone by himself and who now has the luxury of living off the taxpayer (like he always wanted) as he is "mentally unfit". He pays nothing in cs. Dh by all accounts is a douchebag. He spent the last two years keeping horseface happy and not me. And for what, dh? That cold-hearted cunt still hit you with custody modification and cs mod too recently. So sucking her ass did little to help you. But all that aside, he's a good "step-dad" to my kids. They call him dad. We do things with just them (when ss isnt' here) and we do things as a group too. He feeds them, helps with homework, baths, pick-ups, extracuricular activities, etc. He is affectionate and patient with them.
Maybe I am just too hard to please? Perhaps I should "rise above it" so to speak and just accept things as they are? I should simply come to terms with the fact that I will always be the low man on the totem pole and "suck it up". I cannot bear the idea of hurting my precious bios, who by all accounts, have been thru so very much emotionally. I don't want them to have abandonment issues when it comes to men. I suppose I am capable of cohabitating peacefully with dh. It won't be much of a marriage, but hey, it isn't much of one now. BM (evil stink wagon) will always be #1, SS and my bios #2, and me #3. That is the pecking order. My selfishness isn't worth hurting my kids. And the problems with dh's family just make things even more difficult but I guess I can "push thru" that too. I don't know. I'm at a crossroads so to speak. . .