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Validation

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Services start for SO this week. I was allowed to pick the behavior specialist. This is a woman who I hold in the highest regard, being one of the best at what she does.

We spoke yesterday because I know especially SO will not admit to his short comings as a parent or admit his role in the dysfunction. So I was more than happy to throw him under the bus. 

I told her how I felt and that I am emotionally drained and do not know if I can do this anymore or if having a relationship with SO is worth it to me anymore.

I felt such relief when she validated my feelings and told me she completely understands how I feel and where I am coming from. My having negative feelings towards SKs is normal. I shouldn't feel guilt or blame for not wanting to be in this situation. It was the first time in a long time that someone has told me that I am not the bad guy and anyone would feel the same way if put in my situation. 

She also said that I am right SO needs to be the one to parent his kids. That's what they want, That's what they crave from him. He does play a role in Thier acting out by being a weak parent and role model. 

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Glad you are getting validation in real life and not just from a bunch of bitter stepmoms on the Internet. Smile

caninelover's picture

Sounds like she may be able to help SO see the issues he's causing.  Are you going to a therapist individually?

Exjuliemccoy's picture

***grins and claps*** 

This is going to be good. Please, please update us on how things go.

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Yes I am seeing a therapist individually. I will definitely keep you posted on if the workers make any progress with SO. They know they have Thier work cut out for them.