Services start for SO this week. I was allowed to pick the behavior specialist. This is a woman who I hold in the highest regard, being one of the best at what she does.
We spoke yesterday because I know especially SO will not admit to his short comings as a parent or admit his role in the dysfunction. So I was more than happy to throw him under the bus.
I told her how I felt and that I am emotionally drained and do not know if I can do this anymore or if having a relationship with SO is worth it to me anymore.
I felt such relief when she validated my feelings and told me she completely understands how I feel and where I am coming from. My having negative feelings towards SKs is normal. I shouldn't feel guilt or blame for not wanting to be in this situation. It was the first time in a long time that someone has told me that I am not the bad guy and anyone would feel the same way if put in my situation.
She also said that I am right SO needs to be the one to parent his kids. That's what they want, That's what they crave from him. He does play a role in Thier acting out by being a weak parent and role model.