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Starting to notice a pattern....

Simpleton21's picture

It seems like all of SD's "bestfriends" are BM's friend's kids.  I know it is normal to hang out with other kids b/c your parents are friends with theirs.  I made friends that way as a child and that is kind of why this thought just hit me the today.  SD was talking to DH and I was half a$$ed listening because I don't really enjoy anything she ever talks about.  I was hoping to hear how her soccer practice went but unfortunately that isn't what she was blabbing about.  Anyways, she came out to show DH some text she had received from BM and sat there and explained that the text was from another soccer parent BM is friends with and talking about being friends with her daughter. I guess BM forwarded her some text her friend sent and of course BM shared it with SD.  I don't know what the text said because I wasn't trying to be involved in all that.  I think the just of it was that since BM is friends with this person now this person is so excited to be friends with SD and so BM had to share that.  This explains why BM is now suddenly interested in soccer and signing SD up for soccer.  My other thought though is that SD can't make actual friends on her own with her terrible personality. I started thinking about the other "friends" SD talks about and the common denomintator in most of her friendships is BM is friends with their mom.

It completely reminded me of when I was a child.  My mom ran into a long lost friend at the swimming pool one day.  At the time I was around 7.  My mom's long lost friend also had a 7 year old daughter that she had adopted.  When my mom started hanging out with her friend again obviously I would play with this other little girl.  Well this little girl was a total spoiled brat.  It became kind of a "forced friendship" because my mom would have her mom watch me and vice versa.  Sometimes I liked it because we would do fun stuff.  She was an only child and her mom was able to afford to take us to do fun stuff so I did like that.  Most of the time though this girl was obnoxious and really hard to be around for extended periods of time.  SD has always reminded me of this girl.  I'm pretty sure all of SD's friends feel the way I did with this girl.  BM will take them to do fun stuff and pay for it so they will tolerate this "forced friendship" for the sake of their mother, lol.  

SD used to hang out with several girls on our street.  After like the first year though they all dropped off and none of them play with her or ever come see if we have her anymore.  One time I had a friend come over with a daughter SD's age.  The girl was in SD's room for a while then decided to come sit with us and hang out.  Later my friend told me that her daughter tried to be polite and hang out with SD but got tired of listening to her brag about all of her possesions and how great she was at everything.  

So my prediction is that SD will turn out just like this girl I met at 7.  Especially since SD has already done a lot of things this girl did.  Decided she was gay, then bi, then pan.  Reached out to older people about sex (we didn't have IG back then but I'm sure this girl would have done what SD if she had that access).  The attention seeking, the loud obnoxious behavior, the constant competing with everyone.  So many similarities.  

I'm still fb friends with the girl that SD reminds me of.  She is now on her 4th marriage except this time she married a man and his wife!  I can so see SD thinking that would be a great idea.....


thinkthrice's picture

The weirdness... it BURNS!!  Brought me back to when I literally had to rescue the Houseshitter from being beating up by some kids at the playground who sensed immediately that he was not normal, nor could he self entertain.  All of the skid's friends are "ne-er do wells" who are almost all CODs that were spoiled beyond belief and non-parented out of guilt/pity.  At these ECA's the Girhippo barely glanced up at the skids but spent the entire time yacking away at her BFFs.

Simpleton21's picture

OMG, SD cannot self entertain either!  She is freaking 12!  My 5yo can self entertain.  Treating kids that are CODs (or adopted) like special little snowflakes and spoiling them rotten does more damage than good!  

advice.only2's picture

Wow that's pretty sad. Thankfully most of my friends either didn't have kids, their kids are way older or younger than my kids had to make friends on their own, lol.

Simpleton21's picture

I have a few friends that have kids close in age to my ODS and SD (they are both 12 going on 13) but they are mostly girls.  So I don't force ODS to hang out with him.  He will hang out with them if I ask (ex. going for a hike with kids) and we have a good time when we do but I don't force it.  I don't usually hang out with my friend's and their kids when I have SD.  It has never gone well.  I like to enjoy my time with my friend's without her interupting and causing issues. 

ODS's friends are friends that he made at school and I only know their parents b/c of ODS being friends with their kids and I don't just drop him off without meeting the parents.