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Always a good time with the inlaws - not

Jcksjj's picture

So SD has a birthday 10 days after I have a c section scheduled (fourth of July week). MIL has a tradition of throwing a bday party for SD and FIL that week every year. Last year we had something different planned for SD and ODS and all hell broke loose that we weren't doing MILs usual plan. I knew MIL was going to be angry that my due date is too close to SDs bday and she already made one comment about it. 

SIL, MIL and FIL stopped by our house today. SIL asked me at one point if we had the kids for the fourth (SD is the only one there not fulltime so obviously she was asking about her) and she looked confused and not sure what to say after that and said oh well maybe DH can bring the boys down to MILs then and you can stay home with the new baby if you're fine to by then. The fourth of July is 3 days after I get out of the hospital. Sorry but no having a party for SD that specific day that MIL wants is not that important. 

In case that was hard to follow a couple points:

Its pretty obvious that MIL had discussed with SIL that there needed to be the usual party for SD, but she was probably afraid to say it herself to me r DH since last year was a huge ordeal and DH actually stood up to her. Although MIL did ask if we had SD for the 4th. 

Also, none of the other grandkids get this treatment or are anywhere near that important.

Another annoying part of the visit. SD was running around screaming, jumping on furniture etc and I asked her nicely to try to be a little quieter because YDS1 was sleeping in the room right next to us. MIL instantly gets angry and starts going off about how its FILs fault shes being loud and i could tell she wanted to say something to me too but she held back.

At another point she tried to pick up YDS and hold him and he wanted back down. FIL tried to hand him to her later and she refused because "he wanted nothing to do with her." Now YDS is 14 months old, had 2 teeth come through overnight and a fever from it. And that's how his grandma reacts to him?


ndc's picture

Well, it is rather inconsiderate of you to give birth so close to MIL's party.  Since she does it the same week every year, you knew about it far in advance and could have timed your pregnancy better.  [Insert huuuuge eye roll here]   SMH at the suggestion that your DH leave you and the new baby home alone so that MIL's party can go on.  I hope your DH can set her straight sooner rather than later.

Jcksjj's picture

I'll try to plan my next unplanned pregnancy better lol. I hope DH sets them straight very clearly but I'm sure he will be wishy washy about it. And after course I'll have to drill my point into him because he "didnt get why I was mad." He doesnt really get what a loon his mom is and thinks everyone should just be a doormat to toxic controlling people like he is. The only reason he did something last time is that I flipped out and his own sister (the one that wont stay at his moms anymore) told him he needed to say something.

theoldredhen's picture

Yikes, Jcksjj,

What kind of a child are you raising, that he dared to hurt his granny's fee-fees?! At 14 months, the lad should have more empathy, teething and fever bedamned!

Seriously, Hon, a grown woman whining because a suffering infant 'wanted nothing to do with her' is outrageous. Not much difference in maturity between the granny and the baby from where I'm looking. If it weren't so pathetic, it'd be laughable.

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

In laws aren’t my specialty. If you are being manipulated I would use manipulation back in a situation where it involves your health. Like saying something like no I won’t be left alone so soon after my op in case I fall over etc. - enjoy your new baby, those early days are so precious. Party can be scheduled weeks and weeks later if they are that upset about it.

Jcksjj's picture

"Party can be scheduled weeks and weeks later" is exactly what I thought. DH apparently wanted to have them all over for a bbq that weekend instead. Was that discussed with me? Nope. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yep. For some reason he cant seem to think about anyone's feelings except SD. With her its constantly panicking about things she might be upset about (that dont even fit with her personality) and everyone else just isnt even considered.