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Fil AND Mil visit

Jcksjj's picture

DH had invited FIL to YDS2 birthday. Normally it would be the weekend that  MIL would work, so we figured we wouldn't have to deal with inviting her or not inviting her. Turns out she switched weekends with someone for the 4th of July, so she ended up being at the party as well. I wasn't thrilled about this. However, something shocking happened. Besides being very subdued the whole party, when they were leaving FIL told us thanks for the invite, and MIL said yes, thank you, that was very nice. No sarcasm, completely genuine. I've never heard a genuine thank you in any form from MIL. 


The_Upgrade's picture

It's like the whole chapter labelled "appropriate behaviour" is completely missing from MIL's operation manual. She has no idea why her actions would cause offense or what to do about it if it did. She's just got her normal bag of tricks which in most cases works for her. You've finally stood your ground and now she's the one on unsure ground. 

Jcksjj's picture

Yes, I think that combined with the fact that her justification for poor behavior is gone- claiming it's on SDs behalf - means shes eating crow. Now that she's seen the screenshots of my convo with BM where BM said SD is staying with her fulltime and we don't have a say in it AND that that's what SD wants, there's not a lot she can say.

Stepdrama2020's picture

MIL.s kind genuine comment will be written down in the books, and pulled out in opportune times "see i was so nice" when push comes to shove again. 

I am happy for you that MIL was gracious. She knew she had to. She is on best behavior so she can draw you in again. The cycle of MIL Life.

Ignore me if I am being Negative Nellie. 

Jcksjj's picture

I'm definitely suspicious and we aren't just jumping back to acting like everything is fine. Still haven't received any apology or acknowledgement that she was wrong. Plus, SIL is still kissing BMs ass which was most likely encouraged by MIL so

Jcksjj's picture

Haha. I mean we've never been actually mean to her, just not put up with her crap. I was polite but not overly friendly.

hereiam's picture

This can happen when you don't accept unacceptable behavior. It also means that your MIL can control herself. She has just gotten away with bad behavior for so long.

This does not mean that your husband should get relaxed. MIL will not continue being on good behavior on her own.


Jcksjj's picture

Yes, exactly. And she's able to keep steady employment so she obviously can contain herself when necessary. SIL, on the other hand, seems much more out of control.

Jcksjj's picture

I'm sure its just killing her that SD is at her other grandma's for half the summer - including for SDs bday/4th of July. Which is usually when MIL likes to throw a party for SD and has lost her mind if that plan gets interrupted.