For those of you that have decided to leave DH/SO how did you decide it was time? DH and I have DS1 and every time I have even a thought about leaving I feel so guilty about doing that to DS. I only want what's best for him and thinking about making him a COD breaks my heart. One of the big reasons I think about leaving is due to DH's parenting (or lack there of) of SD11 and I can't imagine him being any different with DS. It also makes me want to vomit thinking about DH and SD and her disgusting mini wife syndrome having DS on their own.
I feel like I'm trapped and the worst part is I'm the one that's allowed it to happen. Obviously if I could go back in time I would be able to recognize all the red flags but I was naive. The thing is now is that I'm miserable and I don't know how to fix it. I want to just blurt out all the feelings I've been holding back but I'm scared to. But why am I scared? I'm scared DH won't even care about my feelings and will hit me with his "my way or the highway" attitude and tell me to leave? I don't know if I can carry on like this though. I don't even feel like myself any more.
Just needed to come here to have a bit of a self pity rant because tonight I realized that SD will always come before mine and DH's son together and myself. The failed first family will always come first. Trying to please and accommodate them is more important than enjoying our intact family. For some crazy reason I had in my head that DH would be grateful that he can enjoy our DS and not have to miss out on things but he's too worried about SD and what she's doing every waking moment. So here's to a moment of silence for the happy family fairytale I had in my head.
Do your skids recognize that you are disengaged and/or have resentment for them? How do you hide it? Or is that even possible?
So a little back story... DH and BM got divorced shortly after SD was born. Because of this SD (now 11) has obviously never known her parents together. BM has been with her current husband since SD was 2-3 and DH and I have been together since SD was 7. We have SD EOWe and one evening a week.
Well recently BM dropped SD off at our house before DH got home. SD comes in and immediately starts bawling and calls DH saying she wants her mommy. This goes on for 30 minutes before they finally get off the phone because DH is getting ready to walk through the door.
Anyone else deal with their skid thinking they need to be involved in every conversation you're having with SO? Anytime DH and I are having a conversation SD11 has to butt in with "Who? What? When? Where? Why? I want to see." I just want to snap every time with "Were we talking to you?!" I feel like it's another part of her mini-wife attitude and that's why it bothers me so much. I know younger kids are full of all kinds of questions but at 11 it just seems rude and annoying. Or is this just a kid thing in general?
Any SM's out there that have had a baby and struggle with their feelings about SKids interacting with baby? DH and I had DS a few months ago and I'm a FTM. I don't exactly care for my SD11 and I hate when she's around DS or interacting with him. She likes to enjoy being around him when other people are around and pretend like she's the greatest big sister ever but then couldn't care less about him when it's just us around. It drives me absolutely crazy because it's just another thing where she has to act like a mini-wife. Every time she acts like that I just want to scream.
So I love to keep a clean house and not have clutter but I'm so tired of feeling like a maid! SD11 has been with us this week and likes to leave her dirty dishes and things just laying around or in the sink when she KNOWS the dishwasher is dirty and she's supposed to put her dirty dishes in there. I've finally had it and decided to not pick up any of her dishes that she's just left around the house and in the sink. Finally after 3 days she decided to put them in the dishwasher and DH praised her for it!
Finally got the courage to create an account and ask for help because I can’t handle it any longer. My DH and I have been together for 4 years. DH gets SD every other weekend and every other week when school is out. SD was 7 when we met and everything seemed great in the beginning. After we had been together for a while I started realizing DH is a Disney dad. SD didn’t know what it meant to be told no which then turned into SD telling DH I was mean because I expected basic manners and respect. DH would also immediately get defensive if I said anything to SD.