You are here

oncechoosetosmile's Blog

Promiscous daughter in law! Help

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I can't believe I am back here after a loooong break of a few years .I left this forum shortly after I broke up with my ex who was a disney dad with a mini wife, lol. Anyway, I am with a lovely (relatively normal Lol man since quite a while now and we will get married in October!! He has 5 lovely kids , all grown up and left.Two of my boys (12 and 15) live with us most of the time (adore him) whereas my dd is nearly 20 and lives with her bf.

Job interview one week after break up, need loads of angels and good wishes!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Guess what,in all my tears and sadness about the break up, I have a job interview tomorrow which would supply me with the perfect opportunity to pay for exSOs expenses , eg half of the rent and bills.It is awkward, I started panicking so much about finances, since I stay in quite large house with waterfront and now will be by myself and responsible for all the costs.I am running my own business which is lovely but only covered my costs so far.

nurturing my anger now after my break up with SO!!!!!!!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Thanks to the wise ladies here I made it through another day and HELLO- something healthy and powerful slowly but steadily takes over - next to the crying and sadness.I am actually totally pissed off with him .Thanks to another lady here who came up with it I allow myself now as well to call him IDIOT!!!!That idiot didn't fight for our rs and sweeped everything under the carpet knowing I was in pain and suffering.He didn't care enough to help US through this.He never even looked at the problem , being all snobbish and believing he knows it all anyway- never even looked at the "stepmonster"

I broke up with SO- help I am so, so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Finally the whole blending attempt came to an end with me calling it off for good after 2 1/2 years .SO, or ex SO is packing his and SD 8's bags and I will stay with my kids in this house.Right now , even after all those month of struggling with the blending and SO's lack of trying to work on things- I feel totally shattered and blue.I am so sad that this rs was obviously never worth enough for him to fight for and come to a therapist with me.
I also feel like a failure because I couldn't make him happy or managed to stay happy being in the house here with SD.

I broke up with SO- help I am so, so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Finally the whole blending attempt came to an end with me calling it off for good after 2 1/2 years .SO, or ex SO is packing his and SD 8's bags and I will stay with my kids in this house.Right now , even after all those month of struggling with the blending and SO's lack of trying to work on things- I feel totally shattered and blue.I am so sad that this rs was obviously never worth enough for him to fight for and come to a therapist with me.
I also feel like a failure because I couldn't make him happy or managed to stay happy being in the house here with SD.

Break up because of failure to blend??? I am a total mess, help please.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

I have been with SO 2 1/2 years and this morning we finally talked and the outcome may be a possible break up.
Right now I am crying and crying and feel really bad.
The last 6 month or more I withdrew from him, especially after we had some arguments where he full on screamed into my face(anger issues).He then promised HE would organise some councelling which never happened.This made me further withdraw.Allover the mini wife thing with his daughter and the fact that I could hardly speak to him without him being offended or defensive made the gap even larger.

I will see the councellor but without SO! SO looked like a surprised fish when he found out.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Month ago SO promised he would find a councellor for us after he showed some anger issues and was screaming at me a few times , mostly about his kid.It was very important to me that he would do that step since a) I was trying since years to "do something" and to deal with the situation by educating myself, reading and talking and b) he was clearly crossing the lines screaming in my face like that. I even reminded him twice , but he simply never did anything.

Mother's day: NOOOOO,SO gave me a frame with SD in it as mothers day gift...

oncechoosetosmile's picture

SO was lovely giving me a beauty voucher and took on house chores with the kids, gave me a picture frame with pictures of my kids and a separate one with SD and me together.Also he gave me a huge card where SD nearly took all space on it.

Pages