nurturing my anger now after my break up with SO!!!!!!!!
Thanks to the wise ladies here I made it through another day and HELLO- something healthy and powerful slowly but steadily takes over - next to the crying and sadness.I am actually totally pissed off with him .Thanks to another lady here who came up with it I allow myself now as well to call him IDIOT!!!!That idiot didn't fight for our rs and sweeped everything under the carpet knowing I was in pain and suffering.He didn't care enough to help US through this.He never even looked at the problem , being all snobbish and believing he knows it all anyway- never even looked at the "stepmonster" book.He changed a few things on the outside for "us" but didn't wanted to face the real issue.
And now I feel so angry that he packs his stuff so quickly and it seems as if he can't wait to start his new life with his daughter on his side.It must be surely because I interfered with his "parenting" style (eh treating her as a wife ) and because I refused to treat his brat like a princess and support her creepy behaviour.Finally , finally he can run back to how he was before without being disturbed by my attendance in THEIR lifes.You know, when my then 11 year old son told me 3 years ago when we were starting to date that "all he cares about is SD"I should have goddammned listened instead of wasting all this time with him.
And btw he wants to take only one queensize bed along into his new appartment and not any bed for his kid, claiming he would want to buy a bed for her inspite of us having several spares.Guess where that brat will sleep the first weeks , so dada is not feeling lonely??????Not hard to guess for those who have mini wife SD's.Yuk.
- oncechoosetosmile's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It is sad. Your son was 8
It is sad. Your son was 8 when he seen the ways things were. Kids can be very open and honest. Look at the bright side...you gave it you all. Also, you got a mature son for his age.
What your are going thru is grief. The lost of a relationship is like a death. I read somewhere there are 5 stages of grief. I may not have the word but this is what I remember.
1. Denial
2. Sadness
3. Anger
4. Acceptance
5. Letting Go
Love Yourself Girl...And the sunshine in.
Everything you are feeling is
Everything you are feeling is totally normal and I completely agree with all of the above.
The first few weeks/months are foggy. You'll vacillate between wondering if you could have tried harder to salvage the relationship and just not giving a $hit either way, plus everything in the middle of that spectrum, lol. Then slowly the fog begins to lift and instead of that horrible mourning feeling, you will begin to wake up feeling stronger, happier, and more at peace with your decision. Make no mistake, it was a horrible place to be, having to make the ultimate decision to leave. Suddenly you'll begin to see things with a fresh new outlook. All of the things that were happening in your relationship will make you wonder why you stayed as long as you did. Being out from under the strain of that misery will leave you feeling almost giddy. You might be wondering how I could possibly know this. Minus having bios of my own to worry about, I have walked a mile in your shoes and yes, I kept walking, right out the door....finally. I truly wish I had done so sooner.
On occasion, I still miss him, I still miss US (he and I) but, I never realized how much I missed MYSELF until after I left. I won't lie and tell you that it's all rainbows and butterflies but, it's better and better everyday. Plus imagine the stress that you're taking off of your own children. Their happiness will help you tremendously when you least expect it, because sometimes the brightest light comes from the darkest place.
Best of luck to you and yours!
Ok the bed thing is very yuk!
Ok the bed thing is very yuk! You have sooo done the best thing and I really hope you can help me see it through x