Ex's at Funerals
My Aunt had been really sick with cancer for a long time. In her final days she was surprisingly still lucid. Her husband and she had been married for 21 years, he was her second marriage. My cousin (her daughter) for some unknown reason invited her father (my aunt's exH) to see my aunt in her home when she was really sick. My Aunt was motioning for him to go away - I'm sure she didn't want her H to be uncomfortable and My Aunt hated his fucking guts. Why my cousin would do that...I have no idea?
She passed away on Wednesday. She made it really clear how and what she wanted for her resting place.
She wanted no service and she wanted her ashes taken to the town where she and my mom grew up and scatted at their childhood place.
My cousin is changing all that. All her last wishes are basically being denied. She is having a service, she is taking half her ashes to a graveyard NONE of our family is in and she's only giving half the ashes to my uncle, and she is having a get-together at her house after so her bio dad can come to both the funeral and get-together.
I find this really disrespectful to my Aunt and her husband. She had been divorced from her kid's dad (my cousin's dad) for nearly 30 years. And she was clearly uncomfortable with him around while she was still alive, why would my cousin think it's ok to bring him to the funeral and such?
My uncle is being really cool about this and I commend him for it. Of course I'd never get involved; I'm just venting that maybe ex's should stay at home while the family gathers and they can say their good-bye's another time?