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Irene H.'s Blog

They’re grown

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Submitted by Irene H. on Mon, 12/25/2023 - 9:44am

When I first took up with a divorced man, with three children, my brother tried to warn me. He told me the ex-wife would always be a problem, that she would find a way to throw a wrench in every holiday plan, that she'd drop the kids off unexpectedly when she knew we were going out of town, that she would do whatever she could cause as many problems as possible in our house. I hoped he was wrong. 
Now, almost 10 years in, I know he was so SO right. Every one of his predictions came true. She has caused problems for almost every major holiday.

Failure to Launch

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Submitted by Irene H. on Mon, 05/09/2022 - 7:26pm

What is it with kids not wanting to grow up nowadays?

SS18 refuses to get a license or a job. He went to live w/ BM three years ago, so at least his vagabond criminal lifestyle doesn't really affect me. But I do wonder...WTH? He had such big plans. What are you waiting for, gangsta rapper?

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Weird (?) bed fixation

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Submitted by Irene H. on Mon, 05/09/2022 - 1:08pm

Let me start by saying I had no kids before marrying DH. The only frame of reference I have is how I was raised, and watching my siblings raise their kids, in a slightly healthier version of how we were raised. So I often question whether something that bothers me is actually wrong, or just not something I'm used to.

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That didn’t take long

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Submitted by Irene H. on Sat, 12/25/2021 - 9:38am

Quick recap: The first/second time I met SS18, he was around 12, and I told his dad that if he lived long enough, that kid was going to jail. At 15, he got caught dealing drugs at school, and not long after he went to live with his enabler mom, because we dared to actually object to his drug dealing. Since then he's been expelled from mainstream school, expelled from the continuation school, and been continuously in virtually every kind of trouble you can think of. He did manage to finish HS through an online program, thank you COVID.

Why does it matter who bought it?

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Submitted by Irene H. on Mon, 12/20/2021 - 5:19pm

We celebrated SD16's birthday on Wednesday. It was nice, but she did one weird thing, which she does every birthday and Christmas.

As she opens each gift, she asks who it is from, me or DH?

The first time she caught me so off guard I just answered her question as she asked it with each gift. But it bothered me, so I was prepared in case she did it again, which she did.

At each subsequent gift-giving event, we have answered that the gifts were from both of us.

But Wednesday, her dad finally laid it out for her.

Holidays magnify things

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Submitted by Irene H. on Tue, 12/14/2021 - 12:39pm

I'm just bummed today.

It seems like the holidays magnify things that happen all the time. Even though DH doesn't get along w/ his ex, I can't help but feel she has succeeded in "keeping" him, to a certain extent.  I think we're all supposed to try to get along for the kids' sake, and I think everyone had this goal of a healthy parenting partnership, but does it ever actually work like that?

Dreading Christmas

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Submitted by Irene H. on Thu, 12/09/2021 - 11:17am

This year, we planned to have our Christmas celebration with the Skids on Christmas Eve, and send them back to spend Christmas Day with their mother. As of yesterday, she announces she wants us to keep them overnight, until midday Christmas Day. I hate it when she does this; makes unilateral decisions that affect my home and schedule, as if I'm not here. I could put my foot down and insist they go back, but they'd go back to an empty house, apparently. I'm working Christmas Day. We won't be celebrating that day.

What’s the big deal?

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Submitted by Irene H. on Sat, 12/26/2020 - 3:59pm

I work ALOT. Most of the time, I'm pretty stressed about time. I generally feel like I'm not doing anything well, because I'm trying to cram too much in to each day. I'm regularly sleep deprived. So every little thing extra feels like a breaking point. I recently talked to DH about how overwhelmed I am, and we're employing some strategies that are helping.

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