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Dreading Christmas

Irene H.'s picture

This year, we planned to have our Christmas celebration with the Skids on Christmas Eve, and send them back to spend Christmas Day with their mother. As of yesterday, she announces she wants us to keep them overnight, until midday Christmas Day. I hate it when she does this; makes unilateral decisions that affect my home and schedule, as if I'm not here. I could put my foot down and insist they go back, but they'd go back to an empty house, apparently. I'm working Christmas Day. We won't be celebrating that day. So her plan to inflict the Skids' entire Christmas on us, means they won't have anything on Christmas Day, except their dad making breakfast for them. And because they'll be at our house that day, we'll be the ones they blame for that.

SS18 is always a treat. He went to live with his mom full time 3 years ago, after we had the audacity to object to his drug dealing. Year before last, he came to Christmas, but hid in his sister's room the whole time, only coming out for food and presents. Last year, he said he'd only come if I weren't there. Then he came anyway, again hid the whole time, acted like an ass when he did come out, was pissed because he got actual presents instead of the cash he asked for (who gives cash to a druggie?), and snuck out to leave without saying anything to anyone. This year he says he's coming, which just fills me with dread. It literally ruins the holiday for me, all the work and thought I put into the food and decorations and presents for everyone else. His crappy behavior is just such a dark cloud. But husband thinks this will be the last Christmas he'll have with SS18, so he wants to do it. 

My only hope is, maybe he'll get picked up before then and I won't have to deal with it. The Sherriff's Department called here looking for him last night, and now that he's 18, if it's for his usual stuff, it might not be a slap on the wrist like it always has been.

How sad. What a terrible thing to hope for at Christmas.

Comments

Stepdrama2020's picture

Man oh man hopefully criminal SS18 will get arrested prior to Christmas so he can have a striped christmas and you can have a christmas miracle.

Id be dammed to let this shit in my home if he has said he would only come if you werent there, even if that was said over a year ago. Unless he apologized with sincerity he should stay the F away.  Who gives a flying fluck it may be your last christmas with him, your DH should not want him there period if SS said that about his wife. Yea I know its a step family and skids can be shitty towards the SM, cause its just the SM.

Hun hope your christmas turns out ok.

AgedOut's picture

if they're going to whine about a bad Christmas AM, halvsies their Christmas eve haul so they can do both. Then enjoy your day at work and your calm house afterwards. 

 

But, gotta ask .. BM won't leave 18 yr old home alone? how odd.

Irene H.'s picture

Funny you say that. She is all about how awful we are for not seeing him as the Diamond in the rough that he is, but she sure doesn't want to leave her unattended home open to him. Even she knows he and his druggie friends will likely trash the place, and rob her blind, I'm sure. She just won't say it out loud, not even if/when it happens. 

Birchclimber's picture

Seriously!  Why would you DH think it's okay for SS to say that if you're there, he's not coming?  I agree with Stepdrama2020.  No apology, no entry!  What a load of rubbish.

As for spending half of Christmas Day with you as well as Christmas Eve; no way!  I would tell BM that you have already made plans to make a few personal visits before you head off to work.  If she asks who you plan to visit?  Simple answer; "None of your business.  Be here at 9AM to pick them up!"

 

Winterglow's picture

And if she protests, be clear that this is NOT your problem. I might go so far as telling her I'd be dropping them off if she says she can't come and get them.

CLove's picture

Last Christmas was ruined because of SD22 Feral Forger.

Im determined this year that will not happen. And because Im so determined, I now have anxiety that something will happen.

Right before this Thanksgiving, Feral Forger texted Husband that he was "just the sperm donor" and not her father and that I had taken him away from her. I also got nasty text before that and now have her blocked.

I too am dreading this holiday season.

For your reading enjoyment:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/clove/christmas-eve-and-christmas-report-2...

Stepdrama2020's picture

Clove dont know how I missed your last year christmas blog. Holy Flucking Christmas.

I hope its better for you this year.

Ladies and gents WHY does this shitz happen to good people? Rhetorical question, but still.

CLove's picture

This is our purgatory.

I am waiting for the drama to start the weekend of Christmas.

missgingersnap2021's picture

Please I dont even know when SD will be her for Xmas! It is our weekend with her but she will need to see her mom at some point. I am praying she just comes her Saturday afternoon so DH and I can have Xmas EVe and morning alone (we did last year for the first time and it was awesome!). But I can see SD coming here Friday and then then going to BM's for just a bit on Saturday and then coming back. With her recent BS plans of not going away to college I am seethign everytime I see her and Have ZERO desire to spend Xmas with her and buy her anything.

All I know is I wont know the plans until everyone else (DH, SD and BM) get to discuss them and it will probably be at the last moent I am told them!

tog redux's picture

At 18, he can go home alone to an empty house.

Oh well, at least you won't be there to deal with it. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

And if he can't go home because BM won't let him be there alone, he can get a hotel or sleep on the curb for the night. He's 18 and not a child, so he can stay anywhere...except OP's house.