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The Fender Bender

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 10/04/2021 - 9:34am

I'm realizing that more stuff bothers me than DH when it comes to the alienation and fall out of the SKs. 

SK recently had a fender bender. (We are long distance from SKs). DH talks to them multiple times a week via FaceTime and regular calls.

Sibling tells DH about it, NOT the driving SK. Sibling insists not to tell that they told.

DH talks to the driving SK and beats all around the bush giving lots of opportunity to bring it up. NOTHING. This is 2 days after it happened. We get to weekend when he typically has FT calls and STILL nothing. 

Dreading Communicating with HCBM

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 08/09/2021 - 3:23pm

DH lost his job - luckily he saw the writing on the wall and had another one lined up (Thank you Jesus)!

However, there will be a period of time (couple months) he won't have insurance on kids. 

We both know he needs to communicate this to BM but the dread is real.

Any suggestions on the least amount of words he can use to get this across to her via email?

My suggestion lol - 

BM,

New insurance will begin on X date. I'll forward those details once I have them.

Signed DH

 

Caught myself enjoying time with SD

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 07/26/2021 - 10:17am

Yep, it was the last hurrah for SD before we released her to The Krackin this weekend. We packed a lot in the last 4 days. She is almost 13 and I made her watch 13 Going On 30 with me and DH. I love that movie so much. She is in the awkward not quite teen not quite kid stage so somethings she rolls eyes other things she begrudgingly admits she likes. 

Is this typical of SKs or just kids in general?

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Tue, 06/29/2021 - 3:07pm

My SKs seem to have the memory of a particulary forgetful squirrel. 

I find myself compensating by making remarks about our past fun activities because they never seem to remember the fun they have with Dear Old Dad.

I have been tempted to make a Shutterfly book for each of them for each Summer/Year they are here with us.

 

Why do I feel so guilty and overthink everything?

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Tue, 06/29/2021 - 2:03pm

Previously I posted about SS requesting less Summer time visitation with Dad supposedly due to work but we found out that was bs. He never even inquired with his job. 

DH agreed to it and encouraged the good work ethic. 

DH took off the first week SS was here and we have done all the things he asked for (small one state over, overnight trip), fun place activities (think Dave and Buster type places), beach, etc. 

Tracking software for teens - opinions wanted

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Tue, 05/25/2021 - 2:54pm

I need to get your opinions.

DH is long distance parent. Kid(s) have had phones for a long time. DH has had tracking turned on (so does BM) for at least a year.

16 yr old has had phone since age 9 or so but just in last year DH added it with the kid getting a job and forgetfulness. He can know when kid is at work and not call and bug the kid, etc.

11 yr old just got a phone last Christmas and tracking turned on as soon as we had them for Christmas visit. 

Suddenly the tracking is off for both off. Kids would not have turned off. It was the other parent.

Question regarding garnishment

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Sat, 05/01/2021 - 7:58pm

DH got an auto generated message from State regarding past due child support. He is paid weekly and it is garnished. 
When he logged into the state site - sure enough the last two weeks are not reflecting even though his pay stub shows the deduction both weeks. 
First question - if his employer hasn't forwarded the money is there some recourse? 
Second question - does he need to notify the State with copies of stubs to prevent late fees etc? 
What else do I need to worry about? This is freaking him out. Thanks in advance for your help. 

Less Time with Dad

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Wed, 03/31/2021 - 9:01am

This is probably just a vent but feel free to give your opinion or advice.

Yesterday I posted about SS telling DH he wanted to cut his time in half for Summer visit (they are long distance schedule). We knew it wasn't his idea but DH decided to agree to it and encourage his independence. 

Last night SD tells us BM told her "why don't you tell dad you want to stay less too so you can have more time with your friends". 

SD said she initially told her mom okay then changed her mind. (She's 12). 

This is so wrong, especially since it wasn't the kids idea. 

Struggling with separating anger toward BM and SS

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Submitted by ICanMakeIt on Mon, 12/21/2020 - 1:02pm

You all have been a plethora of knowledge and I appreciate your words.

I can handle brutal honesty, so I'm asking for a little help for DH and myself.

How do you separate your anger/frustration caused by BM from your SK when they have been brain washed and parrot such awful things as if fact. 

Logically we know its not the kids fault, but emotionally when something is said so nonchalant and is so vile It is hard to stomach taking the high road, ignoring and not having diarrhea of the mouth at all the ills of the BM.

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