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I Think I Am's Blog


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YSS15 has always seemed like the oldest sibling, he’s independent & stubborn, capable & bossy. OSS17 (a young 17) marches to the beat of his own drum, he’s socially awkward but very funny, intelligent when it comes to subjects that interest him, he has high functioning autism.

Latest BM Drama

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BM has been married for a year & just found out her DH has been having an affair for over half that time. A whole ass other relationship by the sounds of it. I know Stepland is making me selfish because my first thought was “great – how will this affect me/us” because I KNOW it will & my second thought was “those poor kids”. Her eldest two are SO’s but she’s got younger ones too. What a mess for them but my first thought was about myself.

Time Flies – Things Change

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Both OSS & YSS have had recent birthdays, they are now OSS17 & YSS15, time flies. The older they get the more I think about what is to come as opposed to what is happening now. The present is obviously still important & there are things that happen often that SO & I still work on but a lot of these things feel insignificant now. I find myself focusing on future thoughts instead.

Blissfully Ignorant - Hardcore Blindsides

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I came into my SS’s lives 5yrs ago when OSS was 11 & YSS was 9. I instantly disengaged, not on purpose, I just didn’t want to be their mother. If I do want to mother anybody – I’ll have my own children. I have my share of issues with SO & in Steplife but this isn’t one of them. My SO doesn’t expect me to cook for his kids or pick them up or any of that. I have done some of these things, very rarely, over the years but when I’ve offered not because he’s asked.

Where is the beginning? I've lost sight!

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My SO & I have been together for 4yrs, cohabitating for roughly half that time, we moved into a rental we picked together in the hopes of fresh starts & new beginnings. Ahhh.. So much hope. More fool me. He has two teen boys, I don't refer to them as my SS's in real life but for the sake of clarity, they can go by SS16 & SS14.