I Think I Am's Blog
BM has been married for a year & just found out her DH has been having an affair for over half that time. A whole ass other relationship by the sounds of it. I know Stepland is making me selfish because my first thought was “great – how will this affect me/us” because I KNOW it will & my second thought was “those poor kids”. Her eldest two are SO’s but she’s got younger ones too. What a mess for them but my first thought was about myself.
Both OSS & YSS have had recent birthdays, they are now OSS17 & YSS15, time flies. The older they get the more I think about what is to come as opposed to what is happening now. The present is obviously still important & there are things that happen often that SO & I still work on but a lot of these things feel insignificant now. I find myself focusing on future thoughts instead.
I came into my SS’s lives 5yrs ago when OSS was 11 & YSS was 9. I instantly disengaged, not on purpose, I just didn’t want to be their mother. If I do want to mother anybody – I’ll have my own children. I have my share of issues with SO & in Steplife but this isn’t one of them. My SO doesn’t expect me to cook for his kids or pick them up or any of that. I have done some of these things, very rarely, over the years but when I’ve offered not because he’s asked.
My SO & I have been together for 4yrs, cohabitating for roughly half that time, we moved into a rental we picked together in the hopes of fresh starts & new beginnings. Ahhh.. So much hope. More fool me. He has two teen boys, I don't refer to them as my SS's in real life but for the sake of clarity, they can go by SS16 & SS14.