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Eve-Bee's Blog

SD is hoovering back :(

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Well, It is not really a surprise, I guess, but SD21 lease is up, the friend (supply) she was living with is moving to the other side of the country. Consequently, she has no place to live and thus is moving back to our home on Halloween to not end up in the streets (She is a covert narc, so she is embracing victimhood, of course). I am at a loss for words). DH and I have been working on our marriage and have gotten to a really good place, and family life with DD, which is normal and detoxed from SD, ending my marriage because of this feels so utterly sad.

SD actually launched and has stayed gone

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I never thought I would see the day when SD21 actually left our home. But after the light switch moment where I realized how I was giving her narc supply described in an earlier post, it was like she understood the supply source was drained, and like a scavenger, she left looking for a new victim and launched. She has circled back to test several times if I again give supply, but I see right through it, and then not giving her what she wants and not going into the fixer role has been super easy and surprisingly efficient. I feel like I have gotten my home and happiness back.

update

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I have not blogged in a while since SD20 has been gone, it has been nice and healing to have time without her. It has also been a new journey where DH and I have a focus on our relationship. It has revealed all the broken parts from living with the drama from stephell. I don't know yet if we can heal past all the pain caused, but it sure is nice to be working on our marriage, that always seemed to be second to the drama of SD and BM, DH lack of parenting and protecting our marriage is one of his betrays, that have caused problems.

SD upped her game again

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For the ones that have read my previous blogs, you have heard how covert narc SD20 has been trying to get supply from me and was in dire need of supply. She took it to another level a couple of days ago, I will not go into the details, but she filled out a government form, and allegedly mixed her name and mine. So I was listed as the applicant and not just a person in the home. And this whole thing could cost me a lot of money because it is illegal to have false information registered. So she came to our house and told me this. She also asked me if I could fix it (which I had to!

narc triangulation aiming to break my new healthy boundaries

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So I have become really good at not giving SD20 supply, to the point that she was stressed out and started doing anything to get an emotional reaction out of me. To be clear, I did not give her any negative attention either.

SD20 seemed outright miserable and very desperate since she could not get narc supply from me as she used to (obviously in hindsight). 

Finishing HS without any exams

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Wow, I just heard HS will graduate this year's final students without any exams due to corona. Then SD20 will be able to finish HS for sure. She has manipulated all the teachers all the way to the third year without any exams at all, so for her, this implies finishing HS without having any exams at all. The grades she will get are based on groupwork or grades that are, in my opinion, set to high by the teachers because she is working hard to play on their emotions.

Quarantined with SD and DH update

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So I was worried that the SD quarantine would make me go back to the time of feeling terrible and drained by SD behavior and DH lack of parenting. I find that my personal journey of not taking the problem-solver(rescuer) mindset with SD and DH, makes me feel liberated, and I am capable of instead focusing 100% on my own goals and addressing my personal problems. Without this inner anxiety, that I had before (when I was with SD), that I could not really explain the origin of at the time, but it is gone now. And, I am continuing to practice disengagement. 

SD and BM fighting over who is the biggest victim

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SD was stopped at the airport as her flight was canceled last minute. Then she went to BM in quarantine (like everyone else), and already on the first night, DH phone is vibrating like crazy. This is no surprise; the two narcs both want to be queen bee and the victim (in the drama triangle) that gets the most attention.

The golden corona poor school attendance free pass has arrived

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So SD was out of character happy yesterday, and today she went to school a few hours after lunch, when DH tried to discipline her on it. She said It is fantastic I can do whatever I want because of Coronavirus we do not have to go to school (if she lies and says that she has been exposed to the virus) Then Dh said I hope you do not waste another year, then it will be consequences. She then responded that she is getting all better grades than last year before her school absence made it, so she was kicked out. So basically, she is rerunning the same subjects.

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