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Grossed out this morning

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Today I was doing laundry and I noticed that a laundry basket that I'd thought was empty had what looked like some of my husband's socks in it. Since I was washing whites I decided to wash them too. I'm carefully going through making sure they're not folded together and I see something gray and still looking in the bottom. It was my ss's gross disgusting underwear. I mean these things could stand up they were so stiff and matted together. No way am I washing those. I'm literally sick to my stomach now. As soon as I can get a chance to throw those filthy things away they're history.

Help. Ss11 is about to cut in on my plans

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Ok. So I've had it planned for two weeks for my bs to come over and stay. I've discussed this with dh more than once. He clearly knew about our plans. My bs15 loves to come over and spend time with dh and I. This doesn't happen often and ss is here usually every weekend. Well until he got jealous of the baby and started banging on the walls. Today I find out that ss is planning to be here the day my bs is coming. He didn't know that my son was supposed to be here but as I said dh surely knew this but he had a hard time telling ss you need to come another time. He's a DD for sure.

Halfway disengaged

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I wanted to add that I spent the first night at my moms with the baby and the second night I had to come home while ss11 was still here last weekend. After being home an hour my bil shows up and dh stays outside with him. I noticed ss11 was hid in the babies room since dh was outside then when I tried to send a text the internet was way slow which means ss is downloading another game so I unplug the router and within three minutes step son is wandering around and actually comes outside. But this causes him to follow me around even more. Of course dh is still outside talking to his brother.

Can skids make you physically ill

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I read a blog today about skids making you sick and I think that it's true. About two years ago I would start to have panic attacks when I knew ss11 was coming or when he'd just show up. I hadn't had one since my first husband's dad was killed 14+ years ago. My chest would hurt as soon as I seen the car slowing down. I did this for a few months straight. I disengaged some and the panic attacks went away some. I still have them but not as much. For the last month I started waking up sore. I felt like I'd been in a car wreck. My muscles are all so tense and I noticed I was exhausted.

Can skids make you physically ill

Disengageme's picture

I read a blog today about skids making you sick and I think that it's true. About two years ago I would start to have panic attacks when I knew ss11 was coming or when he'd just show up. I hadn't had one since my first husband's dad was killed 14+ years ago. My chest would hurt as soon as I seen the car slowing down. I did this for a few months straight. I disengaged some and the panic attacks went away some. I still have them but not as much. For the last month I started waking up sore. I felt like I'd been in a car wreck. My muscles are all so tense and I noticed I was exhausted.

Can you sometimes see how your future will be

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I think way too much lol but from my recent blog posts I can see even more now that my ss11 needs to not stay where he's at much longer. His elderly grandparents raise him and his grandmother is a good Christian lady but she and her husband are really not able to take care of him much longer. I had comments about contacting social services which I have to no avail. Nothing is ever done. The thing is I believe it would be better to divorce and let my dh pursue custody. His rights were terminated years ago because he was caught growing marijuana so I don't know if he even could.

Unannounced visit

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Just wanted to rant about this weekend and the unannounced visit. Dh and I are sitting outside and we see someone walking down the road towards our home. We go inside bc neither of us felt like entertaining company. Of course it was ss11 coming for his unannounced visit. The last time he did this he was dropped off at our door at midnight. Two days before I was to go in for my scheduled c section. We both spoke with him together and told him this has to stop. From now on you are to contact your father and make sure that it's ok to stay.

Never bathed

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Ok so ss11 just shows up again. They live within walking distance. We live in a small town. Once again he smells to high heaven. He has on dirty shoes, pants, and a shirt full of holes. His hair you can smell when he walks by. Smells of must and nastiness. I know it's the mother but I'm not gonna have my baby around that with him putting his nasty hands in his face. So I left once again. I know I should speak to my husband and I have but rather than fight and argue I just leave. It's not healthy but it's the only way I can keep my blood pressure down.

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