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Divorcing. I encourage you.

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Submitted by onelife on Tue, 03/03/2020 - 10:35am

After 6 years of step hell, I'm done. Many of you have asked me to update you through the journey of leaving the marriage.

I hope it encourages many of you.

Regardless of how bad my husband and step-hell was, there are still doubts and my mind plays tricks on me.

I have to learn to listen to my gut and my body.  When my stomach knots up and I grit my teeth and clench my fists, I have to listen to that!  It was always days leading up to the skid visitation weekend and during and even a few days beyond and my body would react.

I am FINALLY done!!!

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Submitted by onelife on Mon, 03/02/2020 - 9:51am

6 year relationship, 4 year marriage and Iam ending it now.

You've all been cheering me on to leave since the inception of this relationship.  LOL I'm sorry I didn't listen.  I completely regret marrying a man with kids.  But I'm close to free of it all.  I'm putting in divorce paperwork today.  He'll sign.  This is his 3rd marriage, so he knows the drill.

Moving to the same city as BM

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Submitted by onelife on Wed, 11/20/2019 - 10:32am

So no big surprise but the skids are behind in school.  They always have been and they've always been in resource classes.

SUDDENLY, DH thinks he needs to do something about it.  He thinks he needs to get a place to live in the same city as BM and the skids so he can be there for them and help them catch up in school. (Skids are now 12 and 14.)

DH doesn't have any assests or money for a house, so he's trying to qualify for chapter 8 housing like BM. ($400/month rent.)  Then he thinks he'll decrease his CS to BM because he'll have the skids more...a lot more.

Would you undo your marriage if you could?

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Submitted by onelife on Sat, 11/24/2018 - 10:55am

If you could start over, knowing what you know now, would you ever marry your spouse?

The step-kids and BM and all that has to come with the marriage?

I am coming up on my 3 year wedding anniversary...5 years with skids around.

I can honestly say that knowing what I know now about how this skid life works, I wish I had never even met my husband.

That statement makes me sad of course because I'll say it again, when it's just us, we get along great and actually like each other. 

I Can't Have Sex with You Because I Can't Stand the Skids

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Submitted by onelife on Sat, 09/29/2018 - 1:58pm

So a couple days ago, it's the eve of DH going to see skids.  DH wants to have sex and usually I am more than game. But whenever it's skid time, well, it puts the skid marks on sex for me.   I just can't get into it and I am not in the mood at all.  I feel replulsed, angry, resentful and none of those feelings are conducive to having good sex. 

I'm Back! Missed Ya'll!

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Submitted by onelife on Sat, 07/14/2018 - 3:13pm

It’s been a LONG time Steppers!

Last we spoke, I was leaving town in my RV, headed across the country.

Well, I ACTUALLY did it!

I was gone a glorious 6 months and logged 6,000 miles on the road!  It was phenomenal and life-changing.

DH realized I didn’t need him anymore.  I think he even saw that I didn’t want him anymore.

 

T-8 days.

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Submitted by onelife on Thu, 08/03/2017 - 12:54pm

8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1......

And then do you know what happens?! I AM LEAVING IN MY RV FOR GREENER PASTURES. Maybe the grasss won't be greener but the travel will certainly be a welcome change. But you know what? I guarantee the grass will be greener, because no matter what happens with DH, I will be over 2,000 miles away from BM and skids and DH's parents! Talk about disengagement!

Texts between DH and BM...this is my breaking point. What do I do?

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Submitted by onelife on Wed, 08/02/2017 - 11:11am

Her communication is undermining. Sometimes it's harmless, it's just over everything...what she ate for breakfast practically.
Often it's to yell at DH which is very unpleasant and then puts him in a bad mood.

I don't trust DH either though.

BM had asked him to send her some of her pregnancy photos and baby photos of the kids.. apparently she doesn't have them. 5 years post their divorce. Kids are 10 and 11 and she needs the baby photos....that's fine.
I got into such a good conversation with tankh that I wanted to get feedback on this too. Thanks steppers.

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