My first time on this site, I can't believe that other sm have the same problems I do,I thought it was just me.Both my sd are in their 20s and they do not live with us. thank goodness! I really do not think my marriage would survive. THey both have never really welcomed me into their dads life, the day we got married the youngest sd asked if i was going to change my last name, I told her yes...that should have been a clue for me there! It has gone down hill from there.

I was home on maternity leave. Gibby was just 2 months old. Princess had had a fainting spell the week before, so she was staying home from school that day to go see the doctor. Lazy Boye was in half-day kindergarten, in the afternoons, so he was home. I walked PITA, then in 1st grade, out to catch the bus that morning.

My neighbor came out with his cup of coffee and sat on the curb with me and our kids. "Did you hear they bombed the World Trade Center?" he asked.

I was just talking with a friend of mine (who happens to be the product of a blended family) and she was giving me some insight into her own situation growing up. Her BD had children from his first marriage with a typical, psycho BM. My friend's BM, her BDs current wife, was going through much of the same guilty daddy mess that many of us here are dealing with. The situation got so bad that her mom filed for a divorce....here's the shocker....

until we can get into therapy, dh and i decided to try something new, as the tension is becoming unbearable in our house. discuss the skid situation, but with absolutely no arguing, just listening. then walk away, think things through, and come back with hopefully, a fresh perspective.

here is dh's perspective on our situation:

1) if we just had more family bonding time, i would see what a wonderful child ss17 is and none of these arguments would be happening

Can someone please tell me why men are idiots when it comes to their children from their first marriage? My DH gave my SS 28 a key to the house for when we are not around to let him in when he is visiting. Now SS 28 just shows up whenever he pleases, doesn't let us know when he is coming to our house, showers, has a beer, eats, and then leaves the mess for me to clean up usually before we are even home from work and then returns late at night or not until the next day. We don't get to visit him, he just uses our home for a free shower and free food.

N!--@s tlk sh!t everyday lol dey jus f___n jealous becuz ppl start to f___g knoe u nd u start to get rep. nd dey act big guess wat n!--@s

Seriously what is wrong with this idiot?

The last 2 weeks have been a rollercoaster. SD14's announcement that she wanted to live with us heralded a 10 day honeymoon period during which SD14 has continued to be relaxed, sociable, friendly and helpful.

Since school started, her first year of Jr High, SD12 has had a shitty attitude. Constand whinging and back talk. Well this whole entire week she has been a superstar! Good test grades, awsome in cheer, homework getting done without being told, same for chores. And very pleasnt to be around. I told her today when she got home from school that she has had an awsome attitude this week and has been doing a good job. She said with a smile on her face, "you noticed?"

I feel like this site has helped me "talk out" my feelings - valid or not. I don't have close friends, so this forum has become my social life! Depressing, I know.

I am professing to myself that I will not be a victim to my skids anymore. I pay bills, I clean house, I feed them, I take care of the animals, and I am a good person. I know I'm an intelligent woman and, overall, very loving. I also know what's right, reasonable and respectful. I know I don't ask for much as a parent and I know I ask less of my skids than I do from my own bio kids.

Great! No skids this weekend, and of course FDH is away with "the boys" for the weekend.

Not that I expect him to choose a weekend he has his kids, but it does kinda suck.

Anyways, just wanted to vent a bit.

I finally told him that if he plans on playing poker with his buddies this winter, he can pick the odd weekend that he has the kids - it doesn't always have to be on "our" weekend, and he actually agreed! Well, we'll see how that goes.