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secondplace's Blog

It finally happened

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I have been a member of this board since 2010.  I read blogs most days but rarely respond or create my own blog entry.  Well, today I am stressed out and need some advice.

I have two adult SD's.  One is 23 and working part time.  The other is 21 and still in university.  They live with their mother and come over for dinner occasionally.  Overnight visitation stopped approx 5 years ago.



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SD is a train wreck. She is a nice girl, but hasn't really grown up, although she is 19, turning 20 this summer. She has mental health issues as well (suicide attempt in March of last year).

Extra Curricular Activities for Kidults

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DH is NCP and has paid half of extra-curricular activities for the SDs for several years now. SD17 just recently turned 18 and asked him if she could join up for a certain activity in the fall again. He looked at her and said, "well, that's up to you if you want to go". And she said, "Oh, you want me to pay for it myself?". He said "yes, you have a job and you're an adult now".

So, a quick question for you all. Do you think parents should have to pay for their kid's extra curricular activities after they become adults?

More Stepmother Musings

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Sometimes as BM's, we tend to bash our own kid's stepmothers.

How many of them do you think are on this site bashing us and our children?

I'm not asking this because of my own situation. But think of it....I have two children who have a stepmother, I am a stepmother, the BM in my life is a stepmother. There's potentially a lot of "anonymous" bashing going here. And the funny part is: what if you were bashing your BM and she commented on your post what a piece of sh*t she was, not knowing you were talking about her?

O/T I've been on this site too long!

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I work for a manufacturer and get an email every week from a manufacturing consortium. It is the "Members need help" email. They post a question, and the members are asked to provide solutions.

So you can imagine what I first thought as a Step Talk member when I opened up the following "Members Need Help" request:

Disposing of Skids

O/T Getting married next weekend and freaking out!

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I don’t post often even though there are numerous things that have come up in the last couple of months (SDstb13 refusing to visit, FDH having screaming matches with BM etc.), but since FDH has not been falling into the “Guilty Daddy” or “BM Puppet” role, I am leaving it up to him to deal with his issues.

This issue affects me directly, and it is my upcoming wedding – next Saturday, the 16th.

What's worse - Step Daughters or Step Sons?

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Well, I've been on both sides. In my former relationship, I had the step son from hell. A totally lazy, thieving, angry, inconsiderate slob. My former SD, while very clingy in her younger years, actually grew up decently and we had a good relationship.

Now I have two SD's who I like, but find them a little clingy as well. They are growing out of it, but not soon enough!

So I ask you all with experience with both sexes. Which is worse?