Here is the link to the full article. It also has "steps" for families and other individuals (grandparents, etc).

http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Bliss/Bliss.html

Ten Steps for Fathers Who Divorce

Step 1. Accept that guilt is a prime mover in your actions. Most men feel guilty because they lost their family and their power as father to that family. You may also feel guilty if you believe the mother of your children is not doing an adequate job of parenting.

Has anyone on this site been in the situation of no mother in the picture...you are the mother figure...father not doing his part...child ruining your relationship...etc as we all talk about.....anyone had it work for you....has anyone gotten the father to step up and realize what he is doing isnt right...has he opened his eyes to see what he is doing for his child isnt helping her but in the long run hurting her?
Just a thought..doesnt hurt to ask....weighing my options!

This started as a comment on copsgal's blog, but by the time I felt satisfied with it, it turned into something more.

This is a message I received from BM on FB regarding CS. DH & BM specifically had it set up for his employer to deduct the CS from his income each week & cut BM a check to be sent directly to her from there. They did this because Child Support Enforcement takes so long to process the money & forward it on.

BM and fiance talked last night about a few things going on for SD's school this week. I have no idea how or why this got brought up, but BM started spilling her guts to DF about her relationship issues.

My Step talk friends...I think I need help bad. My husband has a problem and I need to learn how to deal with it. His problem consists of not being able to tell his daughter NO. This brat would be my sd!

She, first off texted her father last night, to see if someone could spend the night tonight. He turns to me and tell me what was said. I look at him and say....its a school night. No one needs to stay on a school night. (Disclaimer:the last 3 nights 2 people have already stayed with her.)

I am so glad to have found this site....you ladies as I read through..havent gotten far because I cant stop reading the new things...but as I read through I realize I am not alone. But you ladies have gave me lots of insight to see that I can stand up for what I believe in.....I have my whole life not just in this relationship let people walk over me...I dont know what I was afraid of but fear itself.

Skid weekend on Saturday. I will have two choices for this lovely little visit

a.) Go fishing with DH and his kid, brothers, brother's kids, and SIL. (I actually really love to go fishing when it's not with people who drive me nuts) Not be able to get in a word to DH because kid will inevitably interupt me at every attempt. Listen to her whine, cry and throw tantrums the whole time and here the "daaaaaaadddyyyy helppp i'm ssoooo scarreddd" when she finally does catch something and is terrified of a fish.

OR

I know I'm being weak and selfish, but I really don't feel like trying to solve my problems with stepson. I'm tired of being hurt and feeling like I don't matter to my husband when it comes to his precious son. My H is so fake with his son and it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. Right now I feel all the aggrevation is just not worth it since nothing has changed. It doesn't matter if I speak up to my H or don't say a word, it always the same result.

So, Monday is skid-night.
DH calls me while I'm driving to my sales call (after he's picked up SD10). So he's on the phone with me, and dealing with her. So I get to overhear the whole exchange.
"Has your Mom taught you to fold clothes?"
"...yes......"
"Great! THESE are yours! Fold them! And put them away in a drawer. I think your underwear is in here, your pants go...."
WOW!
A CHORE!
Seriously, I think this might be the first time he's asked her to take responsibility like that.

I made an important decision last night, after many sleepless hours I decided that I was going to stop all communication with BM. I'm doing this to save my own sanity and re-establish my boundaries. Boundaries which BM in the past has not understood or chooses to ignore. I am re-gaining control of my life, my life with FDH.