DH has been struggling with XW#1 ever since they got divorced about putting SD into extra-curricular activities. The problem has never been that she was involved - the problem is that he was never consulted with on these decisions - he was just expected to comply. So we were jumping through hoops to get SD to this event and that event, no matter what our plans might have been. That stopped when SD decided a few years ago she was not coming over to Dad's house anymore. That lasted for a year until he charged BM with contempt a year after that decision was made.

This was a training I recently attended for work but it really is applicable to everything I'm involved with - work, home, ex's, SK's, etc. I've been checking out various blogs and forum topics and this training resonates in the back of my mind as I'm reading the "she's probably going to" or "he's thinking" or what have you.

I am trying your idea! Sd is doing a ton of housework at this very moment! I hope this works!

I am new to the whole blogging world and this site would be extremely helpful to me if I only knew WHAT THE HECK HALF OF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! hahaha I feel like an idiot but I have no clue what all these abbreviations are.

o/t
BM (birth mother?)
DH (dear husband?)
FSS
FSD
SD(step daughter?)
PAS
SO (significant other?)
etc...

I know there is a bunch more being used, I'd appreciate some help with this! That way I can get a move on with my own blogging on here hehe.

OMG! My dh completely shocked me! So i posted earlier today about dh taking ss to the fair last night knowing we were having a talk with ss today. Read my last few posts if you don't know. So, his morning dh is dreading this talk. He wants me to do it all. I was fine with doing most of the talking at first- until dh 'rewarded' ss by taking him to the fair last night. I told dh he wasn't going to get away with playing nice guy all weekend and having me come out as the mean one. Then dh started with the video was 'kids being kids', 'it's's not that bad', blah blah.

So dh and ss are on their way here for ss visit. Today was the day we planned on talking to ss, like I posted about yesterday. Normally dh picks up ss and comes right back home- a 4hr round trip. Last night he decides to stay in town with his mom (mil) and drove back this morning. Fine. Except dh took ss to the fair last night!!! What the heck? It's not tht I care he took him. If it were any other weekend, then fine. But this is the weekend we are hving this serious talk and what does dh do? Oh, let me reward this kid for his abusive behavior!!! Genius dh.

what if you dont love them? i care about them, but love? no. i am working on getting along with them but i dont feel like i have to LOVE them the way i love my babies. we have a bond that can never be compared. dh thinks i'm bad to his children because "i dont treat them the same" and i probably dont treat them the same. im never mean or make them feel unwelcome. i cook and clean for them and try to talk with them just to see what's going on in their lives, etc. dh on the other hand is totally playing favorites with HIS children, meaning the skids.

My SS is 8 and he has a very busy schedule during the week. Monday through Friday he goes to school and then he has evening activities Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, which does not get him home until 8:30-9PM most nights. He just got signed up for another event which is directly after school but on the nights that he has other activities, he has 2 hours to fit in getting home, getting fed, and doing homework before running off to something else.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39463768/ns/health-mental_health/

Hopefully this link will stay, sometimes they change the story but here it is for now.

A national discussion on the issue! should be interesting

So DH and I had high hopes for this weekend being a good one - SS was dropped off early (5 minutes early but it's an improvement from 20 minutes late!!) and SD was on time, as normal. We sat around the table for a good dinner, and then started discussions about school and things (hear the missle getting racked in the gun). DH was having an active convo w/ SS8 about carrying his cell phone (that we bought him and pay for) in case of an emergency or so DH can get in touch with him.