So yesterday I was at a crossroads about whether or not I should speak to my SD16. (See yesterday's post)

I went to see a counselor b/c I am at my wit's end - I don't know how to make myself happy in my situation.

:?
So here is the scenario:
i haven't been on this site for awhile trying to not vent or even care because it's easier than being angered or worry constantly.
i have been w/ my bf for going on six years doing her job while she ran men in and out of the kids lives until recently getting married to an alcoholic w/ a bad temper and extensive dui problem. but now she has just pushed it so far i am having more than a problem keeping my cool as i always have before.
where to start:

Does anyone do joint birthday parties with the BM and her entire family? I am the step mom to two girs, 11 and 8 and I would like to set family traditions within our family. Am I crazy or does everyone do this?

First major SM conundrum (I'm not a BM, remember SD is SICK. BM give no info, no meds. I don't do meds. I always do Homeopathic. Dad sends me into pharmacy. I stare at child meds and read the back of boxes. Don't like what I see. Like homeopathic. Buy both, plus saline nasal spray. Luckily dad can't read box (in English). He just wants sneezing to stop. Give child homeopathic. Feel guilty.
Tell him to give her rest, fluids and vitamin C.

Okay, DH's relationship with BM has seemed reasonable, good, even. Good enough it made me a little uncomfortable, actually, but better that than outright hostility, I figured.
BM had her mother call DH's mother, accusing DH of "refusing to support his child."
He pays child support. He pays his half of "mutually agreed upon activities" for his daughter.
"Mutually agreed upon" has always, in the past, meant "BM decided." DH is now saying some choices or compromises need to be made, as his business has been slow, and he cannot afford to just fork over $$ for everything.

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that sees 50/50 custody as a bad thing on kids? I live w/my SO and he's got 12 yr old girl and 9 yr old boy (who I'm quite sure has Asberger's) and the custody was set a few years before I came into the picture. As a person who watches all of this play out, I really believe it would be in the kids' best interest for the 50/50 custody to cease. They are both involved in numerous activities and every single weekly "switch" many things are forgotten. Not to mention all of the things that get missed in their school lives because of this.

One day SD14 (she was 12 at the time) notices my diamond wedding ring on my finger. She asked where I got it from. I said your dad gave it to me. She replied that he never gave her anything like that. I said to her...that's because you're not his woman. Okay reading that back perhaps I should not have answered in that way (LOL) bc it sounds like I was being just as childish. However, would SD comment have irritated you??

The kitchen was a disaster when I got home last night. The menfolk- husband and skids- had dirtied every dish in my house, and I vowed here on ST last night that I was not touching it!

This morning, I did have to move one pot in the sink to actually get to the water faucet to make my oatmeal. Loghead came in and saw me and yelled at me- "Don't touch a damn dish!" I froze. "I'm just making oatmeal," I said, sheepishly.

"Oh, I thought you were gonna clean 'em, and that's not your job," he said, and walked on past me.

Who was that man?!

Some background on my MIL... she's 63 years old and has only one child. My H (who is 28 years old) has NO brothers or sisters because my MIL was pregnant 5 times before my H and each one of them were either stillborn or didn't live long after they were born. My H only has one Bio kid because when he got with his XGF he was only 16 and she was 26 and she already had 2 children from two different previous relationships. So XGF and H only had SD9 together. When I first married my H I admit I had high hopes that my MIL and I would get along well and hopefully one day we could be close.

New to the site, but am wondering if I am in the right spot....

Little background on myself, I am a Birth Mom to a 11 year old son, and 8 year old daughter from my first marriage, I was his 3rd wife at the time, and was a step mom to 4 other children for a good 8 years, and had to deal with 2 BM's. I have custody and their dad and his 4th wife take the kids EOWE.

I am now re-married and am now a Step-Mom to a 4 year old girl, Birth Mom to our 2 year old daughter, and expecting our last child, a girl, in January.