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I was foolish

1day@atime's picture

Foolish to think things would be better. SS10 comes back from his 8 week stay with his Mom. He is two-faced , lazy, and self-entitled as usual. Of course he comes back with hugs and "I love you so much. I missed you so much." I roll with it and return the sentiments (even though that's not the way I feel, but I am hopeful). Mother-in-law comes to visit one day after SS10 gets back. Three days into the visit, MIL mentions that SS10 said we are mean to him because we make him eat fruit. Seriously? Whenever he can get anyone alone he plays a whiny victim. And if that's the worst thing he can say, then I should feel proud of myself. However, his flakiness is disgusting. So I confront him in front of MIL. He looks like a deer in head lights. Plays dumb. Looks nervous. Smiles and tries to act like it's cute. It's always interesting when a master manipulator gets confronted in smack-talking. I don't think it's normal for a kid to not want to eat any fruit or drink any fruit juice ever. I really don't think we should have to pay for vitamins for a 10 year old either because he can't suck it up. And whether or not it's normal, it's not healthy. And for the record, Skittles is not considered a fruit.

So after having the fruit is important talk, SS10 decides he'll eat a banana. He asks MIL to open it. I tell her no, he needs to try. Of course, it's waaay to difficult for him(yet he builds weapons fun). Just before he left he had asked DH to cut his pancakes. This is a kid who deserves an allowance?

Last night I realized that a movie SS10 wanted to see is on Pay-per-view. He has a cable box in his room and asks MIL to watch it with him. DH, MIL, and I are finishing watching our show and DH tells him to wait about 15 minutes and MIL will come down and watch it with him. When the show's over, I purchase it from our TV (bc all he would have to do then is go to "My rentals" and press play. When I check to make sure it shows up on rentals, I notice it's purchased twice (one being an HD version, which I did not purchase). I'm confused, but I go downstairs to tell SS10 I have the movie set up. He tells me he is already watching it . . .because he purchased it (the HD version, too, $1 more and his TV isn't even HD!!). I asked him why, when we told him to wait. He said he was confused (that's always the excuse he uses when he disregards our instructions). In fact, he was told to never purchase anything from his TV, we would always do it. UGGGH!


momoutofhermind2's picture

I know what your going through. My SS10, he doesn't like veggies. His BM always let him eat whatever he wanted except veggies. He told me one day she never made him eat veggies. I said well she should've b/c that is what keeps you strong and healthy. He lives with us now and he is made to eat them. My DH and I have started out giving him just a mini scoopful. After you have had the veggies once or twice, you now get a full serving. Let me tell you, it's still a struggle, but you are going to eat them or go to bed and they will still be waiting. There are parents that don't force their kids to eat it and that's fine, but we do. Kids need veggies and possibly vitamins also, not vitamins in replace of. You sit and eat it or else you don't get to go out. Point blank. So I would suggest for that part to either give him one of two options for the fruit or just give him a little at a time, but DH has to back you up on it or else it wont work.

As far as the telling dirty lies to other people, i've been there too. It makes you wanna go out of your mind, thinking, you little minipulator. So calling him out on it in front of that person was a good idea and then I would tell him every time you lie about something I am going to do the same thing. But, he doesn't get off that easy b/c you are now lieing so you get a little grounding with that one too and no tv. My SS10 has a habit of lieing and I call him out on it a lot. He has the deer in the headlight look plus the answer of I don't know. Why did you do that? IDK. I said I don't know is not an answer so tell me why and I wait for an answer. He will give one, you just have to force it out.

It's still a struggle w/the lies and the veggies, so stay strong b/c it does get to you. I have to walk away sometimes b/c it annoys me to no end. Make sure DH backs you up b/c that is first and foremost one of the important things b/c if he doesn't then SS will run with it.

As far as him buying a movie w/out you knowing, I would take it out of his allowance if does get one. If not, then tell him he has to do chores to make up for the movie that he couldn't buy. Then make a list.

Jsmom's picture

We have passwords on all the kids tv's. They can't order anything. Do it today. Stop the little kid in his tracks. Also agree with Snarky take the TV out of his room for a week. Call the cable company and they will probably refund the extra one.