I cannot do this anymore, the frustration, the resentment, trying to force myself to be okay in a blended family when it goes against everything inside me. I'm not cut out to be in a blended family especially when it's someone being in the house full time with a non existent BM but regardless it's my own problem and my own fault, I continued with something and tried to move forward with it and I've had to lay in the own bed I've made.

I’ve really pulled back and disengaged, but some things still get under my skin. One of them is the obligatory “Happy Holidays” or “Happy Birthday” messages. Of course, I don’t have to send them, but guilt creeps in. And if I don’t, you know there will be backlash. It’s happened before in my decade-plus of being a stepmom—the punishment didn’t fit the crime.

My dad is a journal-er. He has been for as long as I can remember. I have forbidden him to dispose of his journal books and Daytimers as I consider them treasures.  With the advent of e-mail he has taken to doing a weekly publication of what he refers to as ... The Blurp.  Lol.

Despite my desire to fully NGAF (or be ambivalent) about SDiablas comings and goings, I still ruminate about how much they annoy the crap out of me more than I want to. Hopefully getting it all out here and commiserating will help me let it go!

So here's the latest news. OSD29 and YSD27 stay out of the country will soon be coming to an end. 

DH relayed to me that OSD will be continuing on her travels alone. Thank-the-heavens! bye bye

BUT YSD27 is coming back to our home town. Why? 2 stupid reasons.

To Girhippoville where Mr. Not So Neutral and his enmeshed adult son, the Mechanic live.   Uncle Kinky was always embarrassed of his hometown being too hick and rube.   He moved to the "big city"  which is really an inner ring suburb of the closest mid-sized city here decades ago before I even knew Chef.   

He became frightened of all the smash and grabs/carjackings in his inner ring suburban neighborhood and sold his house mid last November only to buy a plot of land back in the Old Homestead.   

I have been MIA and not able to blog in quite some time. My last post has some background. Just going through a big life change career wise that took on an unexpected curveball. Been occupied with saying goodbye to my previous place of employment that had its own kind of grief to process. Plus worry about making ends meet while job searching and getting establishd someplace new.

The stress of interviewing and trying to get some kind of soft landing, plus other personal non step related issues thrown in between has been a hell of a lot. 

And man it feels good! I am done with putting others feelings before mine own just to "be nice" my time is valuable and if I don't wanna spend it with in-laws who secretly don't like me then don't blame me, but they do! lol I use to always put my MIL and SIL feelings before My

I'm curious as to other's stories of skids turning 18 and the progression that happened. My SS15 lives with us all the time and zero interest in anything outside of sports. Even with sports he only cares about the sport during practice and games/events. Otherwise, his entire life is wake up, play video games, play on phone, play video games, maybe take a shower where he uses every ounce of hot water, video games and phone until the wee hours of the morning when the birds start chirping. 

SS17 applied to 5 schools with full confidence with an unweighted gpa of 3.1 (that includes core support classes that don't count by the schools he applied to). I've told him the schools he applied to are very competitive ( he was to apply to only one school lol) and he should expand his options. 

Boy doesn't believe because who am I to know this school system lol. (um, but we are talking about the top UCs, I thought anyone would know they are top UCs..).

So I couldn't help it, last night I was looking on Facebook to see what other of SO's family was close with BM. SO's teenage niece isn't but i saw that she is friends with SO's ex gf, who he cheated on BM2 with and left her for. He told me at the beginning "That part of my life is behind me and I'm a different person now." Anyway, this teenage niece would have been about 3 years old when SO dated this woman, and has only been on Facebook a few years.