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Just Fking Lost It

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As the title says, i just fking lost it on my SO. We are supposed to cook the duck for his family Christmas this evening at his parents', and we were about to go to the store and his sister calls. She lives across the country and when she talks to their mom on the phone and mom sounds sick, she overcompensates for living across the country by "diagnosing" mom and then calling all the other siblings to order them to do what she thinks is best. All over the phone.

“I don’t know sh!t about f@ck.” - Vent.

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That's my new mantra when it comes to SO and his mess (quoting the character Ruth from the show "Ozark.")

Night before last, i was cooking supper at my house and SO shows up at my doorstep with SS17 and SD22. SD22 is troubled and lives about an hour away. Apparently she took a Greyhound and showed up at his doorstep, needing $4k to fix her car and wanting to move back in, and btw can she have SO's bed while she's here. Instead of a call or text "hey, SD22 is here, is there enough food?", or any info at all, he just shows up with her.

“Couple” Time and AITA

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How much couple time do you get, and are you satisfied with it? Also, AITA for being upset about the following?

SO and I don't have any "kid free" days. He works 7 nights on/7 nights off. He has SS17 100% of the time and SS11 50%. That 50% is all of his off days. On his work days, he doesn't have much time for anything but work, but he also watches SS11 for BM on school days. SS11 gets off the bus at his house, then has to be brought to BM a few hours later. I have my daughter 50/50, and per SO's request, I switched the week to where I have her on the week he works.

How to address gracefully?

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SO's so excited to have his 24-year-old daughter visiting. He has always gone on about how she's going to be a doctor, how smart and together she is, etc. We went on a short trip and, well...

As soon as we get there, she says she forgot her meds. It's for depression and my DD15 takes the same med, but in 1/4 the dose. SD24 has been "borrowing" DD15's meds and has now drained half the bottle. SO says he will replace them before they run out. SO and I then get groceries and when we get back, SD's phone is plugged into my charger next to my bed. She forgot it.

Toxic Milestones

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Last night was SS11’s 5th grade graduation. He was given 2 invites with 2 tickets each, so he gave his dad one and his mom the other. 

Yesterday morning, SS11 told SO “make sure and call Mommy to remind her of the graduation!” BM often forgets things. SO had SS17 handle the reminder. 

Trying to See This as Positive

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Tonight was a bad night, but i'm trying to see it in a positive light. SO and I were doing better, i thought. Tonight was supposed to be date night but he got a text from a friend inviting him to play pool. I knew he had been wanting to, so i told him to go ahead and go, and we could do date night tomorrow. He said he would be back around 10, and his kids (SS17 and SS10 for simplicity's sake) were at my house, supposedly until he got back.

Update to the Trade Off

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SO told me today that he is keeping nephew8 from Friday until Tuesday. SO is also working 12-hour night shifts that entire time. I told him i do not want to end up babysitting that whole time, and I don't want the kid at my house when i'm working. SO said that SS17 will be watching him. However, SS17 will be sleeping at my house due to their custody battle. I told him that SS17 needs to watch nephew8 at his house, and SO agreed.

The Trade Off

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My SO has finally solved the problem of BM coming to his house every day. SS10 gets on and off the bus from SO's house, even on BM's days. In the past, she would pick him up every day after school. The problem was, she could not keep a schedule, and she would pick him up anywhere from 4-11, and sometimes she would not show up at all. She also would walk in the house, using the kitchen, getting into drawers, etc.

BM Drops SS10 From School

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Posting an update because, well, I don't talk to anyone in my real life about this. SO got a call from the 10-year-old's school that BM dropped him. She told the school staff not to tell SS10. He rides the bus home to SO's, where he will stay the weekend, and i guess on Monday BM will enroll him in the school in her district. She just got the ex parte ruling and the hearing is early next week.

BM Took Kids But Wants To Return Them For Weekend

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So BM got the ex parte emergency custody order on the grounds that she alleges SO's house is too dangerous. But.....get this - she wants SO to have them every other weekend starting tomorrow. And the judge granted it!

If his house is so dangerous that she needs emergency custody, how can she say that he has to keep them for the weekend?! Plus, she knows that this is SO's weekend to work. Now he is trying to get his dad to stay over to watch them from Friday night to Sunday night. If he can't, guess who is the only one available. Yep, me.