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Crappy Situation Update

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Things had been pretty peaceful. No drama from BM2 in months, and the SDs have been, as far as i could tell, quiet except for SD27’s repeated requests for money, which SO said he was finally going to start setting some limits with. SD24 has been no contact since moving out in a huff a few months ago. I recently went on a trip for a week with my recent high school graduate and it was nice. 


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My SO and I have been doing the "Living Together Apart" thing and put marriage plans on hold. Mostly due to his inability (in my mind) to set boundaries with, well, anyone and everyone in his life. Things have been pretty peaceful since i "dropped the rope" and stopped trying to fight for the relationship i wanted us to have.

Newest Bombshell

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Today as i'm leaving for work i get a text from SD24. "I'm coming back for a few months, can you house my 2 cats?"

Background: SD24 was living with SO when i met him. Due to lying, drugs, and fights with SO, she moved in with her grandmother, GBM1 about an hour away. That didn't work out and she ended up in an apartment with a boyfriend, ShadyGuy.

Happy BECsgiving!

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Another poster talked about this a few years back and it really speaks to me today.

BEC = Bitch Eating Crackers: When you dislike someone so much that anything they do, no matter how minor or inoffensive, annoys you beyond any rational level - exemplified by the sentence "look at that bitch eating crackers like she owns the place".

"I can't help it she just drives me nuts, she's my Bitch Eating Crackers."


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SO and BM2 were in court for the past 3 years over CS and custody. It was ugly, there were ex-partes, etc. The one good thing about it was that during that time, BM followed the custody schedule with one of the kids, SS13.  The other SS is 19 and lives with SO full-time.

Vent and Personal Doc. of Current Bullsh!t

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Background - SO has SD24 and SD26 with BM1, who moved them out of state at ages 3 and 5 when they divorced. SO paid CS and saw them a few times a year for maybe a week or 2 at a time. SO has SS13 (50/50 custody) and SS19 (lives FT with SO) with BM2, and they divorced maybe 12 years ago. Relevant because BM2 never lived with the SDs and wasn't a hands-on stepmom. The SDs have also said that BM2 physically abused them when they would visit, hitting them with hard objects like TV remotes and force-feeding them until they vomited. Not a "warm" SM/SD relationship. 

Update to SO Court Case

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Update to previous blog about SO's CS case. Maybe 6 months ago, SO received notification that there was a CS review. From what the lawyers can tell, BM2 initiated it. Per the first review, SO was told that his CS would go up by about 50%, even though one of the SSs had aged out and the other one is 50/50, except that SS13 is at SO's house *every* afternoon and evening after school, even on BM2's  week.

Update to My Kid Came Out as Trans

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I did some research and found a good therapist who specializes in gender issues. We've had a few visits and he does seem to be an expert in the area with over 30 years of treating people with gender dysphoria. He does think my kid (born female) truly has it and isn't likely to change his mind. The therapist said the best thing a parent can do is respect their kid's preferred name and pronouns, so that's what i'm going to do.