What are the SDiablas29&27 up to? In case you were wondering?
Despite my desire to fully NGAF (or be ambivalent) about SDiablas comings and goings, I still ruminate about how much they annoy the crap out of me more than I want to. Hopefully getting it all out here and commiserating will help me let it go!
So here's the latest news. OSD29 and YSD27 stay out of the country will soon be coming to an end.
DH relayed to me that OSD will be continuing on her travels alone. Thank-the-heavens! bye bye
BUT YSD27 is coming back to our home town. Why? 2 stupid reasons.
1. BM will be house sitting in our area. She is flying from her state of residence to our town to do this. BM just cannot stay away. YSD27 will around because BM will be around. I have no idea where BM gets the money to piss about.
2. YSD27 wore braces when she was a teen. After the braces were removed she was supposed to wear a retainer at night to keep her teeth straight, as is common with braces. In classic "the rules don't apply to me" fashion, YSD never wore her retainer as instructed. Now her teeth are jutting out and she wants to get braces again. Instead of getting braces in BM's state, where ysd LIVES, she wants to have braces put on in our area by her childhood dentist.
I never would have gotten braces for YSD in the first place. She has never been the type that will follow the requirements so why waste the money?
Case in point, my youngest bio considered braces but ultimately decided against it as they have no desire to wear a retainer for the rest of their life and so wisely declined the cosmetic treatment. I have 1 bio that chose to wear braces but they also wear their retainer every. single. night.
DH asked her, "Why don't you just get braces in BM's area since that is where you live?" (I was happy to hear he at least tried to reason with her.) But, she and BM have come up with some half-baked plan for YSD to get braces in our town. DH realizes it doesn't make any sense but there isn't much use trying to change the minds of stupid, stubborn people.
I am sure this is part of a bigger scheme of YSD to keep sniffing around our house causing drama, trying to be a mini-wife and get DH to go do stuff alone with her to stick it to me instead of staying with BM where she belongs. And of course there's the $$$. Where is unemployed YSD going to get the cash for expensive dental treatments? You KNOW that BM isn't going to want to foot the bill alone. I am sure they will put DH down as the "responsible party."
Am I going to point any of this out to DH? NO. I am not. I am staying out of it for my own mental health. I hope DH shuts the money grab down but I will leave it up to him. DH hasn't mentioned how she will pay for it but he's not stupid. He must see the writing on the wall.
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She's getting braces in your
She's getting braces in your town because that's where the money is. Keep a sharp eye on your household finances. You don't think your DH will pay for them, do you?
Ya know,
I wish I could say assuredly that he will not get duped but those rose colored glasses seem to have a life of their own.
YSD is claiming that her jaw hurts. I could see DH feeling sorry for her if braces are medically necessary.
I told DH that I had a dream last night that BM asked him to give her forty five hundred dollars. (I really did.) He said "Hopefully that is not a premonition." I said, "Fortunately, it was just a dream."
Why braces? Why not Invisalign or Smile Club.
Though that requires YSD to actually do something rather than get braces installed then use it to whine and cry about for attention.
My brother always had some tooth alignment opportunities growing up but it was not causing any dental health issues. My parents never did get him braces. As his career advanced he did Invisalign for a couple of years and now sleeps with the retainer or wears it at the office when he is not on video calls of in face to face meetings.
He and mom had some misalignment. Dad and I both have perfectly straight teeth though I have always had a ~3mm gap between my front two teeth. To close that gap wold required all of the teeth in my upper jaw to be moved. Nope. Not interested. Though.... I might consider the Invisalign/Smile Club option in lieu of braces. Braces I would not do. Not as a teen. Not as an adult.
I would make DH paying for braces or any dental work for an adult spawn a hill to die on if I were you. She has aged past the cut off to be on mommy or daddy's insurance. Welcome to adulthood YSD. To the point that if he does it he can move in with BM and YSD. I would hand DH the phone where you pre-dialed her childhood dentist for DH to inform the dentist that he is not the responsible party for YSD's braces boondoggle and that he will not be paying for any of it. Have a flash card ready with just that message pre-scripted to give to daddy as he the call to the Dental office is ringing.
Don't forget to keep reminding DH that he recently informed YSD that she is on her own and he has cut her off from all support. That includes paying for dental services. This is a 27YO university graduate. Not a special needs adult dependent.
Thank-you rags. Once again
Thank-you rags. Once again you are spot on. Thanks for the "cut off" reminder. I will pass that message along to DH at the right time. It would be his money, not mine but ultimately what effects one of us effects both, at least to some extent.
I use the term "braces" loosely. It may be braces or it may be invisiline that she wants. I don't know, don't care.
My bio actually had invisiline which was a bit more expensive than braces would have been.
She is not disabled in any way unless being irresponsible, lazy and entitled counts as disabled.
Nope. Irresponsible and lazy is not a disability. IMHO.
It is a lack of character and quality though. No doubt about that.
Braces are thousands of $
If SD jaw hurts sge should see a Dr,
Permanent Retainer
My DH and I both had braces (me as an adult). When the treatment was done we were told we could wear a retainer every night, or they could attach a "permanent retainer" (a wire adhered using dental glue to the insides of the teeth where it doesn't show). DH's wire lasted about a decade I believe (mine was shorter). That way we couldn't foget them, and no responsibility other than flossing a bit differently was needed. If she goes through with this, she may want to consider it. I wouldn't want to wear a retainer forever!
Thanks for the tip about a
Thanks for the tip about a permanent retaier. I will pass that info along to my biok. My biok may be interested in asking their orthodontist about it.
I will be staying out of SDiabla27's care. My help is not wanted or valued. In the past, when I have helped her or I solve a problem, the credit is given to BM or SD will say it was her own plan, or anything other than acknowledging my contribution. I no longer try to teach SD's anything.