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Court in 2 weeks

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

Submitted by StepMa2BeeYo on Wed, 08/15/2018 - 7:13pm

Hello all !

I'm new to the site.

In two weeks, we're returning to court for custody modification since BM was in contempt and keeps bending the custody arrangement to her scheduling.  Any suggestions or advice?  How does court usually go for contempt?  We have joint legal and physical but are going to recommend Joint physical and legal with kids having two residences and not any one primary.  Also we have plans to request a 4-3 custody schedule.  4 days for Dad and 3 days for Mom.

Any suggestions?  or anyone know how this could go?

Comments

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Wed, 08/15/2018 - 8:39pm

It has to be pretty aggregious for the court to change the current living situation of the children. Do you have a lawyer? It could go a few ways, BM could get a slap on the wrist and nothing will change. Make up parenting time could be ordered if she interferred with the other parents parenting time.  She could get a fine, thrown in jail. Honestly who knows, there are no guarantees when you go to court and a judge who sees you for 15 mins tops is dictating your life.  If you have a lawyer push for some kind of fine/punishment to deter future occurances.  Good luck.  

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

Submitted by StepMa2BeeYo on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 11:47am

We will definitely have a lawyer.  He wants a more rigorous schedule. The first court agreement is very vague. He wants to modify with an arrangement that cannot be misunderstood.  They have joint physical and legal, but she’s acting as if she’s the last say or tie breaker. When by law she isn’t.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 6:51am

Unfortunatly, unless there is some kind of serious reason why BM would have full primary now and need it to drop to less than 50/50, it is unlikley. She would need many contempt hearing, drugs, moving the kids all the time, unstable environments, etc for it to be changed in most cases. 

Hopefully, the judge will come down harshly on her, maybe up your DH's visitation some, there might be words that if her behavior continues _____ blah, blah, blah. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 10:07am

And sometimes the druggies still get unsupervised visitation because why not? (The judge bought her saying she had been "sober" for a year... Yeah... Bulls***... She was high the only time we saw her before ocurt in Feb....)

It's a gamble... You never know how a judge will feel.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

Submitted by StepMa2BeeYo on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 12:46pm

We also have texts and emails where he told her he wanted his kids, it was his weekend, and she deliberately kept them and said he would have to understand.  She finds her family events to be more important Than time with their father.

 

and having a modified arrangement with less chances of her being able to say it’s her weekend or less room for change is really what he’s seeking.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 12:59pm

I can just promise you that the Judge won't want to hear that your SO isn't willing to be flexible for family events and trips on BM's side of the family. You are new to the game, and I promise this is all a game of chess and you have to think in long term goals. Right now, you would probably be best suited to have more structure in your agreement. Specific weekends called out (2nd and 4th or 1st and 3rd), if you are in the same school district or can provide transportation, you might be able to get Mon-Tues to be an overnight vs. having to take them home. Beyond that, it probably won't go as well for you as you think. These are minor infractions by BM. I know that they are hurtful to you and your SO but with what the judge sees everyday... it is petty stuff. 

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

Submitted by StepMa2BeeYo on Thu, 08/16/2018 - 3:10pm

This is all we're asking for.

We don't want jail time or anything else.

 

He is extremely flexible however when it came to this particular family event, it was the same weekend as the family event he planned months ahead of time.  We scheduled fun activities with the family and play dates the duration of the summer after he missed 2 weeks with the "protective order," which the judge called malicious and stupid.

We're suggesting a 4-3 agreement and alternating Saturdays.  I don't think that's too much to ask for when technically speaking we have 2 nights and 2 days already.  Instead we're asking for the kids to stay over 4 nights some weeks and 3 nights other weeks.

We are also not in the same school district but verbally she agreed to letting SD go to school in our district since we live in a better area, but knowing her she'll change her opinion on that too.

I have a hell of a lawyer who knows the judges in the county very well.  So I think we'll at least get the compromise we're looking for.  The real issues with Monday and Tuesday 3-9pm is it's disruptive to school bedtimes.