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How was skid school district decided?

steplife's picture

This question is for those of you with younger skids and also 50/50 shared physical and legal custody. We have every other week schedule. We live less than 15miles away from BM but in a different district, which statistically has determined to be a better district, one of the better in the state.

Did you have to go to court and let a judge decide? What were some factors that determined the outcome?

Comments

Glassslipper's picture

lol, that reminds me of the story:
SD needed shots to start kindergarden, all kids need a check up and shots before Kindergarden.
BM never took her to the MD like she told DH she would, because she is too lazy, so she filled out the paperwork stating the shots were "against her religion"
The school secretary call DH asking if it was filled out in error or if it was BM who filled it out and just doesn't care to bother. LOL.
Secretary knows the hell we have lived through. lol

Glassslipper's picture

My kids and DH's kids were in the same district.
No one wanted the kids to have to move or lose their school district (top 10 in the state)
Everyone EXCEPT(my ExH) DH and BM did ALL we could to keep an addresses in the area to keep the kids in the school.
We were successful except ExH made some mistakes on paperwork and almost got DD kicked out of school but the school secretary called me right away to correct it and just figured Ex had NO idea what he was doing, lol. She was right.

DaizyDuke's picture

Are skids already inrolled/attending BM district? Are they doing poorly? You may have the "better district" but if skids are doing well in BM district I see no point in them changing schools.. unless they want to? Does BM not want them in your district for some reason?

Redredwine's picture

We just finished this, literally. The draft stipulation is out for review by the parties.

Send me a private message if you'd like specifics. Really don't want to post publicly.

Cover1W's picture

We just did this with SD11.
50/50.
She announced this past summer that "She was going to school (near Daddy's)."
Period, end of story. Took us all by surprise and she even had good reasons.

So DP started an almost year-long email/text/phone call discussion. The custody agreement determined that BM had sole discretion of elementary school but come middle school, the parents had to come to a "mutual agreement." We were a little worried it would mean a mediator but BM told SD11 last week that she could go to middle school near us. DP thinks she ended up in a personal mediation session herself (through her religious group) and that reasonable minds prevailed (our school district in one of the top public systems in the state).

It took DP a lot of calm talking, 2 school tours and sending information about the school, teachers, programs, etc. I stayed out of it unless it was just DP and I discussing the situation. Even if SD11 asked me what I thought, I'd say something to the effect of "I'd love for you to go there but your Mom and Dad have to make that decision, not me."

I.hate.cats's picture

We're dying to change SD6'S school as of next year because she's not doing well, has no friends and courtesy of BM'S lack of parenting, she's already got a sad rep as the weird one that doesn't behavior among her peers. I've actually been looking into a Waldorf school which focuses heavily on imagination as opposed to technology which I think would be great for SD. Unfortunately BM thinks life doesn't exist outside of her little town so we're thinking this is bound to be an issue unless we get her to sign off on changing placement over the summer and then make it a permanent change. BM didn't bother to sign her up for summer school (for once her laziness is in our favor) so getting her into summer school near us should pave the way.

Drac0's picture

The judge in our case chose our district BUT (and it's a BIG BUT), the odds were stacked against us. In the beginning, DW and her ex were living in the same district (SS was 6 at the time). DW wanted to move in with me and I lived across town. Everyone kept saying that it would be better if I uproot myself and move to DW's district. I was not going to do that.

Now, I cannot tell you with 100% certainty what factors were involved in the judge's decision but she decided to allow us to uproot SS from his current school district and plant him into the new one based on the following:

DW was much more involved in SS's academic endeavors than her ex.
I lived in a house that was bought by me. Her ex still lived in an appartment.
DW and myself were engaged and with our newborn son (My BS was just 9 months old at the time) must have looked like a more stable "Family unit". The ex was just starting to date a new woman.
When placed on the stand, the judge asked to what extent each parent would go to ensure SS would have a healthy relationship with the other parent. I think the judge liked my DW's answer better than her ex's. My DW said she would "Drive to China" for her son if indeed it would be possible to drive to China. Her ex didn't really answer the question other than to say. "He's my kid, I try to do what's best".

Our ace in the hole....Was a major FUCK-UP on opposing council's part. She said, and I quote "It isn't fair to force SS to live so far away from his aunts and cousins". Our lawyer said "WHAT?!?? Are you seriously suggesting that it is better for SS to live closer to his cousins than HIS OWN BROTHER!?!?!"

That clinched it. Lawyer ruled that our home to be primary and custody was split 60/40

steplife's picture

For purposes to help understand I'll use the district. We got SD into a lottery school because it was in between our and BMs house geographically (where SD7 has attended 3 years) it now came out as a Failing school. We drove approximately 20miles to the school, BM 10 miles.

DH and BMs court order is joint everything, with no one being custodial.Everything is split evenly, neither pay any child support. All school decisions are "mutual agreement"

We now are trying to decide between a District 1 (ours) and District 2 (BMs)school as we only live 15 miles apart now because BM moved and BM is right on the boundary line of District 1. Our district is one of the best in the state, they get transfer requests by the dozens from out of District applicants. However BM doesn't want to drive the 11 miles to get her there. She wants to put her in her district that has subpar grades because.... it's more convenient, she just doesn't want SD in our district, [insert random reason here]. I'm not really sure why.

Hoping to settle out of court, but it's looking like we may have to end up there.

shortcurvy77's picture

My husband has the same plan and but he has exclusive rights to education and medical, so he chooses. We are changing schools next year, its 15 miles from BM's house so I am sure we are in for some fun.