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Just wondering what can happen? ? Advise needed please

bigmombigheart's picture

Background: Dh has had had 50/50 joint custody since SD6 was 1. Dh just recently won a long custody battle in determining which school SD6 would attend. We have lived in the better school district for the past 2.5 years we rent BM lives with her parents since forever in a lower district. So the courts agreed SD6 should go to school in our district. We have week on week off schedule. Now we truly love our neighborhood and would like to buy here.....But DH owes ALOT of money to the IRS and we would have to move about 15 miles out of the area to rent for a lower cost to pay off this debt at least for 2 years. And after its paid off we would like to buy in the district where SD6 goes to. Dh still works around the corner from SD6 school. So we thought DH can still get SD to school on our weeks so we don't interfere with her school. We also have a close friend who still lives in the district and we can use their address to assure SD can stay at her school.
THE PROBLEM IS :As soon as BM finds out we moved out of the district so close after we were granted this order she will do her best to try to tell the judge we moved and get her switched to her district. Dh can say that he lives with our good friends during the week he has SD but I thought that could hurt his case too. Our court orders were also filed under montenegro (means that these orders are final unless something major happens to change them).. what should DH do? Can BM change the custody orders again?

bigmombigheart's picture

I guess I didn't think of it like that. Dh use to live there and stays there a few times a month to help out with repairs at the house.

twoviewpoints's picture

Unless something extremely recently happened to your finances , DH knew during this fight in court over school districts that he could not afford to remain in the housing he was in. So he just assumes now he can lie about where he resides. No sweat, right? Just lie and pretend by using a friends address. Wrong.

Not only is it defrauding the representation at the school, it's foolish to think you'll pull this off. Think about it. The BM just fought you in court and lost due to you residing in the 'better' school district and now you're just going to pretend to reside there and move out of district. Trust me. She wont be amused. Once she catches wind of the move she'll drag your DH back to court so fast your heads will be spinning. Rightly so.

The " these orders are final unless something major happens to change them"? Well something major is about to happen. Dh lied ands plans to keep lying, not only to the court but now also the school district. Not cool.

BethAnne's picture

How long would it take you to pay off the debt staying where you are now? Are there ways that you could help you to pay it off quicker?

Personally I have an aversion to lying and you are proposing not only lying to the school but also ultimately to BM and potentially in court to a judge. I would find another way around it rather than lying.

I think that once a child is established in a school most schools will allow for parents who move away to continue to allow their children to stay in that school. Check with the school/district. Then your only issue is with BM complaining....

Indigo's picture

In my experience, our local blue ribbon school district will allow a child to stay in the school through that school year if the family moves. In general. There is also a "school of choice" option for the next year. Essentially, if your goal school has openings and you're in a different school in the same district you can apply to transfer. Returning students are favored.

Don't fake the address or try the "well, 4 days out of the month DH stays at XYZ address and our friends will write something up as landlords ..." It is fraud. You are opening up an opportunity for BM to take you back to court. More hassle there. The court will frown on any apparent intentional fraud and may completely overturn earlier pro-DH rulings. Also, school district may assess your family the year's tuition usually paid by the state per student ... that's about $ 7000/student in my district. Then, there is the idea of what are you modeling/teaching your children?

Smaller house, apartment or townhouse to rent in that school district may be a better option.

onthefence2's picture

Where I live, it's cheaper to buy a house right now than it is to rent. Have you explored that option? It might take longer to pay off the debt, but if you have a decent credit rating, you can get a good loan. Otherwise, don't lie. I can't even believe your proposal, especially right after the BM fought for this in court.