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Custody battle brewing??

Charly's picture

My ex husband emailed me out of the blue today telling me he wants to move our kids back to his school district.

We share custody 50/50. Decree says we make the decisions about their education together. Neither has exclusive rights.

When we divorced, he kept the house, and the kids finished that school year in his district. The next year they moved to my district and have done very well. Their grades improved. They don't have to go to after school because my husband works from home, so they get to come straight home after school. They would have to go to after school care if they went back to EXH'S district.

His reason for wanting to move them back is because he is unhappy with the arrangement. There really is no compromise here. I want them in my school district and he wants them in his.

What are my options here?

Comments

smdh's picture

His being unhappy has no bearing on it. Obviously your kids are doing better in their current district and moving them back and forth seems silly. Plus, after school care vs. being home seems crazy. I would simply acknowledge his request and outline why you disagree and say "I intend to keep them enrolled where they are. If this is an issue, we'll have to go to court to have it resolved". I can't imagine he'll win in court given the circumstances. His happiness isn't going to mean anything to a judge.

Charly's picture

Twin boys are 8. SMDH I like your response. Straight to the point.

They are both good school districts. His is a small town, mine is in a bigger district, a very good community. Schools are ranked pretty close, mine getting a little bit better marks.

If they go to his district, I will lose a lot of time with them. I would have to drive after work 45 minutes out of my way to pick them up, getting them home to rush through dinner, homework, and then to bed. Then I would have to wake them up extra early to drive them 45 minutes out of my way to his district.

Currently, I take the kids to my exh's work on his days, so he gets them earlier now than he would if he put them in his district!

The kids are happy in our district, there have been no changes in our circumstances. If I understand correctly, the judge would make the decision based on what is in the best interest of the kids, I don't see how him being unhappy with our arrangement really qualifies as a reason to move them out of their school and into his district.

Charly's picture

Our CO doesn't state a "legal residence" It says that "Both parents together, after reaching a joint agreement, shall have the right to make decisions concerning the children's education.

2Bloved's picture

I think there comes a time when it is no longer fair to the kids to have them switch on and off every year. At 8 they are starting to develop lasting friendships, and it is probably difficult to have to make "new" friends every year. If your exH had not brought this issue up, it probably would have occurred within the next couple of years anyway. I would ask your exH directly what about the arrangement he is unhappy with, and really try to work through them with him. It is never good to threaten court right off the bat. I also view after school programs or youth centers in a different light. Most programs have a time frame when kids can get their schoolwork done, and also allows them to have a social outlet to interact with their peers. To me, this is better than them having to sit at home all day long, esp if your DH works from home and probably would like peace and quiet.