You are here

Court in 2 weeks

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

Hello all !

I'm new to the site.

In two weeks, we're returning to court for custody modification since BM was in contempt and keeps bending the custody arrangement to her scheduling.  Any suggestions or advice?  How does court usually go for contempt?  We have joint legal and physical but are going to recommend Joint physical and legal with kids having two residences and not any one primary.  Also we have plans to request a 4-3 custody schedule.  4 days for Dad and 3 days for Mom.

Any suggestions?  or anyone know how this could go?

Comments

I love dogs's picture

Is this her first contempt charge? What is the current timesharing schedule and how exactly does she bend the schedule? 

In our experience, BM has just got a slap on the wrist for trying to not bring SD once for DH's timesharing and then again for having SD call her boyfriend "dad". However, we are in a very pro BM state so depending on how much evidence you have, things can definitely go in your favor.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

This is technically her first contempt charge.

however, she has done it 3x in one year.

1. They agreed in court agreement she could take them to Bolivia Christmas and New Years 2017.  She takes them an entire month even taking her son out of preschool for the trip.

2. She verbally agreed that he could have them 3 weekends a month but then she continually switched the weekends or kept them when she felt convenient.

3. The latest time (after slapping him with a child abuse protection order and us winning in court) she was having a quinceanera for her sister.  It was his weekend. He told her he already made plans. She text him the day of pick up and told him he’d have to understand and he could get kids Sunday during the day and that’s it. When the arrangement says he gets them an entire weekend.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

He has every other weekend.

and Monday and Tuesday’s 3-9pm.

however his schedule was different then. Monday’s and Tuesday’s have become tiring for him and he wants to have 4-3 schedule in rotation. Plus he wants to see less of her as possible 

justmakingthebest's picture

On the 1st one- Christmas break through new years can run about 3 weeks in schools. An extra week and the kid is in preschool.... you are going to get eye rolls for that. He easily could have been learning more about culture, language, and family than what he was learning in preschool.

2- As long as he was getting the parenting time... it will likely be an eyeroll. Families are supposed to be flexible. 

3- Major family even for an aunt of skids. Makes sense that they were there. Your SO is going to look llike a jerk for trying to take kids away from family events. Hopefully his plans were something huge and involved the whole family. 

 

_-Stating he wants to see less of the mother of his children wont go well in his favor either. It is all about coparenting. 

 

Just being totally honest, this isn't a solid case. There are many on this site that are and still don't get anywhere with the courts but nothing you stated is enough to change custody. What you will likely get is some change in verbiage: Father to have children on the 1st and 3rd weekends of every month. Father to have XYZ time during the week (Don't shut those evenings down! If you already get them 2 additional nights during the week changing that won't look good for you unless there is a specific reason why those days don't still work. Being tired is not an excuse. We are parents... we are all tired... all the time!). Other than that, you will just get to experience you 1st big $$$ flush in family court. Sorry... we are tens of thousands into our case and we honestly have a lot more than this and still can't get anything. 

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

1. She left the beginning of December either way it wasn't part of the agreement.

2. He's missing time and not seeing his kids weeks at a time because she keeps changing the arrangement.

3. His plans did involve the entire family, were paid for, and was an active activity for the kids.  He had already told them that we were going out of town.  Aside from that she only decided to withhold them once he said no to switching weeks because he had plans with his family --which is us (myself (who is pregnant), his sister, and friends for the kids.

 

--- Change in verbiage is fine.  But with his lawyer he is rewriting the entire agreement to be more structured,  the one currently consists of 2 pages and is vague.  Monday and Fridays he doesn't have them at night he gets them for 6 hours after work.  With his scheduling it doesn't work.  I have faith that something else can be done in our favor and so does our lawyer.  Especially after she put a protective order against him to deter him from having time.  All we want is equal evenings, more opportunities for advanced learning for the kids, and for the kids to have a routine with us.  This original court arrangement was MEDIATED with no lawyers involved.  It was never a judge who made the decisions after arguments.

still learning's picture

It has to be pretty aggregious for the court to change the current living situation of the children. Do you have a lawyer? It could go a few ways, BM could get a slap on the wrist and nothing will change. Make up parenting time could be ordered if she interferred with the other parents parenting time.  She could get a fine, thrown in jail. Honestly who knows, there are no guarantees when you go to court and a judge who sees you for 15 mins tops is dictating your life.  If you have a lawyer push for some kind of fine/punishment to deter future occurances.  Good luck.  

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

We will definitely have a lawyer.  He wants a more rigorous schedule. The first court agreement is very vague. He wants to modify with an arrangement that cannot be misunderstood.  They have joint physical and legal, but she’s acting as if she’s the last say or tie breaker. When by law she isn’t.

justmakingthebest's picture

Unfortunatly, unless there is some kind of serious reason why BM would have full primary now and need it to drop to less than 50/50, it is unlikley. She would need many contempt hearing, drugs, moving the kids all the time, unstable environments, etc for it to be changed in most cases. 

Hopefully, the judge will come down harshly on her, maybe up your DH's visitation some, there might be words that if her behavior continues _____ blah, blah, blah. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

And sometimes the druggies still get unsupervised visitation because why not? (The judge bought her saying she had been "sober" for a year... Yeah... Bulls***... She was high the only time we saw her before ocurt in Feb....)

It's a gamble... You never know how a judge will feel.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

We also have texts and emails where he told her he wanted his kids, it was his weekend, and she deliberately kept them and said he would have to understand.  She finds her family events to be more important Than time with their father.

 

and having a modified arrangement with less chances of her being able to say it’s her weekend or less room for change is really what he’s seeking.

justmakingthebest's picture

I can just promise you that the Judge won't want to hear that your SO isn't willing to be flexible for family events and trips on BM's side of the family. You are new to the game, and I promise this is all a game of chess and you have to think in long term goals. Right now, you would probably be best suited to have more structure in your agreement. Specific weekends called out (2nd and 4th or 1st and 3rd), if you are in the same school district or can provide transportation, you might be able to get Mon-Tues to be an overnight vs. having to take them home. Beyond that, it probably won't go as well for you as you think. These are minor infractions by BM. I know that they are hurtful to you and your SO but with what the judge sees everyday... it is petty stuff. 

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

This is all we're asking for.

We don't want jail time or anything else.

 

He is extremely flexible however when it came to this particular family event, it was the same weekend as the family event he planned months ahead of time.  We scheduled fun activities with the family and play dates the duration of the summer after he missed 2 weeks with the "protective order," which the judge called malicious and stupid.

We're suggesting a 4-3 agreement and alternating Saturdays.  I don't think that's too much to ask for when technically speaking we have 2 nights and 2 days already.  Instead we're asking for the kids to stay over 4 nights some weeks and 3 nights other weeks.

We are also not in the same school district but verbally she agreed to letting SD go to school in our district since we live in a better area, but knowing her she'll change her opinion on that too.

I have a hell of a lawyer who knows the judges in the county very well.  So I think we'll at least get the compromise we're looking for.  The real issues with Monday and Tuesday 3-9pm is it's disruptive to school bedtimes.  

I love dogs's picture

It sounds like she succeeded with that. Also, is transportation specified like he picks the kids up or mom drops them off? Next time, he needs to file a police report and try to enforce his visitation that way.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

No she did not succeed.  The judge ruled in our favor.  Said she was malicious.

He picks the kids up.

 

In Montgomery county, police didn't want to be involved.  They told him to file for contempt.

I love dogs's picture

Until they go back to court, your husband needs to go to the normal pick up location and send her a text that he's there. Then he can take a picture of her home or purchase something and save a receipt at the pick up spot to prove he was ready to pick the kids up. Otherwise, I hope he has physical proof that BM has been keeping the kids in texts or emails to prove contempt.

StepMa2BeeYo's picture

yes he does.

She specifically says shes keeping the kids via text.

And for the stunt for 4 weeks in Bolivia he has records of that too !