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fantasy of retribution

Lauren973's picture

Okay ladies (and gents)... We've all been through it, regardless of our place as BM, SM, SM&BM, SD, SKID, etc.,
Try as you may to deny it, I know that there has been some mental tinkering with the fanasy of retribution.

I admit it, I've fantasized about all manner of evil tricks to play. There is NOTHING wrong with THINKING about it - its just fantasy, right?!?

I am very curious to know what dastardly revenge fantasies you've all come up with and by all means, if you ever actually DID anything to get revenge!

I once sat in front of BM's car for an hour in the middle of the night deeply wanting to let the air out of her tires, but I didn't.
I have recently been fantasizing about baking her a pee-pee pie and delighting in the thought of her witless fatty fat a** eating it.
I have toyed with the idea of joining the chamber of commerce in the town where she owns a small business (for children) and then doing a mass mailing of her very public bondage porn pictures, or stapling them to every phone pole within a ten mile radius. But then her daughter would be tormented by her school peers. Can't do that either.
Sigh...
It's healing to think about taking SOME measure of revenge.
Alas, I don't always WANT to be the better person, but I guess I am stuck with it. I just can't reduce myself to her level. Still, its fun to imagine.
Let's hear it - what tricks have you held secretly up your sleeves???
I am dying to know.

Comments

marika's picture

She has gone through about 6 or 7 guys in the 10 years DH and I have been married. She married one (who just left her) and the others threw her out when they realized she only wanted them for whatever money they had. Even the SKs have said that their mother only stays with a guy until he stops giving her money. She also only holds a job until she gets tired of working. How can I have better revenge than a stable relationship that has lasted longer than any of hers, including her marriage to DH and a teaching position that I have had for 13 years at a respected private school?

If you watch "My Name is Earl," BM looks and acts a lot like Joy. Need I say more???

marika

Anonymous's picture

ive worked hard on making sure my kids will never listen to ex's new wife. she knows that she will never be a mom to them and that the best she can hope for is to play mom. When she sends pictures or cards home my ss and i have a blast putting them through the shredder then she comes to me all upset saying her ss is terribly behaved but hes never had any problems when hes with me. Once when she an my ex were still just dating i called her mother and told her that she and ex cheated on me an my 3 kids but she actually met him after we split. She was so tiffed she called me and never realized i had her on speaker phone with half our neighborhood listening. it was great. really theres no revenge better than knowing that she is the woman my ex took up with because he couldnt make it work with me. an now she cant have kids of her own either because she is frigid or barron or something so I just rub it in her face alot.

Persephone's picture

If you read my blog you will see that my fantasy is that my ex-wife (BM) will find this site... Looks like she has!!!

Welcome to the board... stick around a bit, maybe you will learn something.

(Sorry, I digress, usually I ignore these posts, but it's postings such as this that validate the purpose of this site!!!)

Admin's picture

Which is exactly why I approved it. I thought you all would get a kick out of it. Sad, just sad.

-Admin

laughterandtears's picture

Is sad and pitiful. Revenge is one thig, attempting to ruin another's person's life out of pure jealousy is another. Not to mention what you are doing to your child. You, my little retarded bowel movement (BM), are EXACTLY why sites like this one exist and if you were my BM, my fantasies would quickly become reality. It's a shame, really, that you have nothing else to do with yourself than to cause another woman, who is loving enough to welcome your child into her life, pain.

May God have mercy on your soul because no one here is going to.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

Cruella's picture

For people like this Anonymous poster. You can keep your mouth shut and let everyone think you are stupid or you can open you mouth and let everyone KNOW you are stupid. You have proven his point.

Ladies,
This was just some idiot wanting to stir things up. Quite frankly sounds like the BM I have to deal with.

proud mom's picture

I love that statement I couldn't agree more

Live for today,you may not have a tommorow

sweetthing's picture

maybe your ex left you because your screwed up & evil????

What horrible things to do to your own child!

OldTimer's picture

I think this was typed by a two year old... I mean, doesn't anyone else ever stop and scratch your head and wonder, is this for real? I mean, can someone be so low and incompetent? Sometimes I think that a lot of this sort of post is only done to ruffle feathers up and create drama...

To 'rub it' in someone's face that they are barron is simply callous. It shows how insecure you are to find a vulnerable piece of information and exploit it for your benefit all because you feel threatened that another woman so as dared to love and treat your child as her own, since that is her only option.

To shred pictures and cards in front of the kids is simple disgusting. Has it occurred to you that perhaps the kids chose to send these items to you? That perhaps they had some input on it? What message are you trying to tell them? That insensitivity and selfishness are the most important things in life, that's it's not about them, but you? Are you even aware of the impact that you are making on their mind with this action- of course not. You don't care. All you are saying to them is that it's all about you, and nothing more.

I don't even want to waste my breath with this anymore...

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

lmdavi0's picture

and my bb is for real crazy! it's a sad sad thing, but reading all these pissed off comments makes me feel better.
Smile
you all rock!

happy's picture

I read your response here and being a biomom and step mom you have totally shown some immaturity that I am sorry makes you an unqualified parent. I personally cannot stand my ex but for my children I don't bad mouth him or his choice in his girlfriend. It sounds to me you are just bitter because he did not want you anymore. Its time to get over that and move on and teach your child morals and values. Your teaching him to discriminate against people.
And let me add another thing it takes two people to make and break a marriage so obviously you were not all innocent in making your marriage end. Look at yourself and really concentrate on where you may have went wrong in the marriage. And I hate to break it to you but just maybe he is really happy with her and they will live happily ever after. Another point, is what if you found someone who had children, how would you feel if the BM of those children hated you and instilled her hate of you into those kids. I bet then you would be praying for forgiveness. How sad of you to be so bitter and full of hate to suck your child into that. You are making him more miserable and hurting him yourself more then you know by acting so childish. He is probably never going to admit to you how wonderful she really is because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
I say you need serious help and therapy to get you over the divorce and the fact that your ex has moved on while you still sit and vent and complain about him. Makes you seem very sad, lonely and just out right a BITCH. Sorry just being honest with what I perceive you to be.
How old are you? If I may ask?
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

Anne 8102's picture

I really needed this... after the dog dying, our computer being blown to smithereens by a lightning storm and my husband being a dickhead, I really needed a little hilarity to lighten my load today. This was too funny! I used to feel sorry for pathetic people like this, but now I really am just thankful they exist to provide me with entertainment! Smile

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Imustbcrazy's picture

A waste of skin... just remember Miss Anonymous Poster, she who hides behind no name- What goes around comes around.

I suppose she HAD to post anonymously, because she is a NOBODY!! Your poor children, may God show them the way, because we all know thier mom is not guiding them. Sad Sad Sad.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

2beach's picture

aaaahhhhhh anonymous don't be bitter because your beloved dh moved on to something much better than you.......don't be angry. we all live with our regrets, many of us now have wonderful husbands in the men so many ex's like you cast aside thinking you were going to do better....only to have to live your lives in disappointment, battling with insecurities, and regretting your mistakes. I guess there are even a few of us who should thank you......now that these men realize what horrible wives their ex's were, they appreciate us even more! You really have my sympathy....didn't your granny ever teach you about having to make someone look bad to make yourself look better? OH that's right.....you are incapable of such simple comprehension. Please accept our apologies, we are all so sorry we are now living the life you only dream of.

If I wasn't so in love with my Husband........

If I wasn't so in love with my Husband........

happy's picture

Very calm., cool and collected I might add.. I was very mean and to the point.. Maybe my name should be 2beach and yours happy.. LOL I am only kidding.. That just so struck a cord with me yesterday. Anyways.. Bravo to your comment..

Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

happy's picture

My perfect revenge will be the very day I get to say you know what all the kids are grown and I can tell the Ex's to loose our numbers.. That is what I am waiting for. And although some on here think that just because they are adult children that there will still be communication, I disagree with that.
When kids reach there 20's and are on there own, why would the other parent need to call unless it was a strict emergency of something being wrong? So my sweet revenge is coming... Woo Hoo cannot wait.
I have a long time to quit communicating with my ex but then again we really do not talk all that often. SO no big deal.. LOL..

** I love the idea of Pee Pee pie though.. How hilarious is that.

Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

goldenlife's picture

My fantasy is having a DNA test done on SS12 - neither DH nor I are convinced he's DH's. I picture her on Maury talking so much smack and the test results come back "DH, you are NOT the father" and to see her dumpy ass boo-hooing all the way backstage. She lied for 12 years about who the father of her oldest daughter is (she still doesn't know) so this is not too far out of the realm of possibility!

laughterandtears's picture

Me too!!! Although in my fantasy, NONE of HER kids are DH's and I would never have to put up with the brats or the b**ch!!!

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

jenny's picture

I just had to comment, I did DNA the kid and I just knew he wasn't my dh's! Its easy there are many on the internet and many people are doing it because of todays messed up society! I found out 99.9% he wasn't his! Do it! Jenny

goldenlife's picture

Do DH and SS have to know they are being tested?

jenny's picture

No, it is fairly expensive but well worth it. The results are not court admissable, but most do it to go to court or to stop child support, or to expose the sham. You can use your DH's hair samples, but other samples include pop can, eating utensils, bloody band aid, I think I remember chewing gum too. They will tell you.
No SS would not have to know, you could even swab him when dh isn't around. He likely wouldn't have a clue, but just use different names and most important you will find out. If your sample doesn't have enough degraded dna then you will have to submit another. I was fortuniate to send in hair with root, (dh).

When you send in the samples use different names, but you will know whose is whose. What you do from there on is up to you. My biggest concern was that if anything happened to me and dh he and his mother could make a claim. I made sure my lawyer had a copy, and other in safe deposit box. But I think it should be exposed, even if by a third party or anonymous letter, lol!

Lauren973's picture

My stbh isn't sure either. Unfortunately he has made the firm decision that he doesn't want to know or care. I do, but its not my call and if I knew she wasn't it would come out in an argument, I know it.

zoethepug's picture

I have fantasized that we get to stand in front of Judge Judy and she makes him feel about an inch tall!

Imustbcrazy's picture

I have to admit... I have an envelope in my drawer with an anonymous letter address to her boss, recommending "random" drug testing. I know she had to take SOMETHING to clean out her system to get the job in the first place... and I get tired of hearing about "mommy says I get a new toy when I go to her house" EVERY SINGLE SATURDAY... so I figure if she is jobless, she can't afford to BUY his love... but then I think about how much our child support COULD increase and how long she was without a job last time... 6 months. I can't go through that again. Her heat being turned off in the dead of winter... paying her 500 dollar propane bill so SS would have heat 3 days a week at her house... so I think I have convinced myself to shread it... oh well, it felt good to write and put in the envelope... like I was some kind of criminal. HEHEHEHE

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Sebbie's picture

NCP should have rights too!
That the BEST revenge is a life well lived! Every moment of every day is mine to live as I please and I chose everyday to love, to laugh, to inspire and to dream. Truly, even allowing a moment of revenge thoughts to come to my mind is the equivalent of allowing the devil herself to take up room and board...Besides, I hold it the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his/her own way...and bm is doing this just fine all on her own.

Lauren973's picture

my favorite quote is that "the best revenge is living well". It is honestly my philosohpy and the way I LIVE my life. But I am not above the fantasy. And when the white trash whack job pulls one of her stunts, sometimes the fantasy is all I have to keep me sane.

Candice's picture

but that doesn't mean I don't fantasize...

Once in a while, I do fantasize her getting arressted for abandoning her young children (which she has done). She has left them home alone at too young of an age, and we only find out 6 months later, so sometimes I fantasize about the humiliation she would face being arrested, her name in the paper, and a judge taking her kids away and actually putting them where the stability exists.

BM works harder to keep up with the jones' and image is everything to her...too bad she doesn't focus on being a parent...

goingcrazy's picture

I could never wish these bad things on anyone. I strongly believe in Karma and do not want any of that coming back on me. The worst thing that I ever think about is that BM (who is in jail again for a long time) will realize that she cannot be the best mom for SD and will let me adopt her (SHe did this with her two oldest kids from her first hubby). I truly feel sorry for her regardless of all the nasty things she has done to us and SD because that means that something has happened to her to make her such a bitter person. The way I see it is I have the husband and the daughter so why wish for more. As for my ex's new wife, she may piss me off and do stupid things as a mom, but she also has good qualities too and she has the strength to put up with my ex. There must be something good about her I don't see. Guess I have carried anger and anamosity inside for too long.... But I did enjoy reading the crazy things you guys think about. Thanks for the smiles!!!!

goldenlife's picture

Who needs fantasies when you are living ours? BM locked up for a very long time???? It doesn't get any better than that!!!!! LOL

goingcrazy's picture

Maybe that is why I am the way I am. BM locked up for three years, maybe more now the she went into isolation for having illegal items!?!?!?!? HHhmmm.... wonder what that mighta been?

1wits_end's picture

Keep seeing my fiance while he's "working things out" w/exw..and tape him talking about us still seeing each until she finds out him she will leave him alone...and send it to her in the mail..pictures, etc.

OldTimer's picture

Well, lately, no. Life has been good thus far. But I tell you, back in the days when things were pretty ugly, oh I used to dream, and dream I did! LOL.

The scary thing is that I used to have this little saying whenever I was talking to my girlfriends about the crazy antics or drama stories that was happening at the time with or about BM and follow up with... "I wish she'd get hit by a bus." Well, she actually did get hit by a bus! Boy, that was like no other karma I had ever known! Ever since that time, she has gradually changed, and so far, it's been pretty good. Still weird to me, but I'm rollin' with it, as Fearless would say!

So, be careful what you wish for, ladies... it just may happen! LOL.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Imustbcrazy's picture

What are the odds of that??? I sure hope my wishes don't come true, although it would be funny to see her walking around with a Tattoo across her forehead that says "I have STD's"... (which she does already). Why one would tell your ex's new wife about that, I am not real sure, but I have the pleasure of knowing, and my first thought was I wish people had to announce it, she will spread this to so many unsuspecting men.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

OldTimer's picture

STD tattoo on the forehead.... LMAO...

Yes, I tell you, SS's BM got ran over by a bus and it was FREAKY because originally, one of my girlfriends was the first to say that to me when I was having a real emotional crisis that BM 'bestowed' upon us... at the time, BM made false allegations against my DH, which meant a lot of unnecessary legal crap. My whole family was turned upside down because of her for a year. DH was on the brink of losing his job and we were just on pins and needles, walking on egg shells. It was horrible. Well, my girlfriend was the first one to say it to me and it just stuck... it was just a humorous thing we just used to chuckle about, you know "Don't you just wish she'd get smacked by a bus?" Like to say smack some sense into her, and IT REALLY HAPPENED just a few years ago! I mean, it was so surreal. Hard to believe, so now, I say... be careful what you wish for, because for me... IT REALLY HAPPENED! LOL. It TOTALLY smacked some sense into her! Wink The way I look at it is Karma... total and utter karma. What goes around, comes around, and karma certainly visited her.

But I have to say, the tattoo thing would have been better! That is great!

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Anonymous's picture

Ok, you guys can beat up anon for that post. But really, when I look around at everyone I've ever known that stuff is pretty average. Sad but typical. My gosh isn't anyone reading all these threads, the war goes back and forth. Especially with you posters. I thought I was being nice and thoughtful by sending cards, ect. but when the bm called to say it better stop and she throws them all in the trash I just stopped and changed our number! You can call that bm evil but I say its more typical of that situation. Its not fair but its also typical when the dh divorces he also divorces the children, its never the same and it can but rarely works.

Imustbcrazy's picture

Seems to me that the vas majority of posters on this website (actual posters, with identities and all) are Step Mom's who are standing by the side of their DH, working hard to maintain relationships with DH's children. Sure we get frustrated with BM, sure we have fantasies about what we would like to have happen to BM, that is not only normal, but HUMAN. But we don't actually ACT OUT on these fantasies. This BM has actual intentionally destroyed the relationship between her child and the dad and Step mom. And if you familiarize yourself with past postings, nearly 100% of the Dad's that don't have relationships with their kids is a direct result of action such as ANON#1's. Bitter, scorn ex wives out to seek revenge on the Dad's who are trying so hard to stay in their kids lives. Men get SCREWED from the get go in a lot of cases so I tip my hat to those that are able to maintain stronge relationships with their kids post divorce. These woman can't separate the HATRED of their EX with the best intentions of thier own children. HOW SAD. So how on earth can you actually believe that "when DH divorces, he also divorces the children"? That statement holds NO water especially on this website. I am sorry but I have to completely disagree with your post here Anon#2.

And another thing, go back and read the posts on this topic, most of them say that their revenge is LIVING A GREAT LIFE~ so how is that in any way to be compared to the EVIL disgusting posting of a scorn divorcee boasting of how she has sucessfully ALLIENATED her child(ren) from their father. That's something to be proud of right there, PSH- what a LOSER.

Daddys Gurl-

Life is as sweet as you sweeten it.

Anonymous's picture

I'm a person that tries to see the other side I can honestly say its not just the bm's. Its the ex's, the new so/spouses who engage in these kinds of things. Her post didn't shock me in the least. They always blame the other side, but Anon at least was honest about her feelings and actions as wrong as they may be. Many on here claim to do things in the name of the child, but their real intentions are clear by their actions. Yes i stand by what I said, when people get divorced often the child is divorced too, and seriously affected. If you don't think thats a reality also, then your in denial. I don't have any solutions, but people having children and having more with different partners doesn't work for the children.

OldTimer's picture

'... when the dh divorces he also divorces the children...' perhaps in your situation, that may be true, but it certainly isn't in my DH's case, and let me tell you... I think you need to sit down and re read some posts, maybe a few times each.

The only thing that kept my DH going after his divorce with his ex, was his son, and there is NO ONE on this earth, not even BM, that will EVER sever that relationship. PERIOD.

And in response to the 'war goes back and forth'... um, sorry, but I never engaged in any 'war' with BM. Quite on the contrary. It was BM that made it quite difficult for me and DH. All out of insecurity.

And I am very sorry that BM rejected you and dismissed your feelings, however that doesn't mean that it happens everywhere- but yes it does happen quite to often. It just shows how insecure the BM you deal with is, and that it obviously was meant to hurt your feelings- to get under your skin, that's what a lot of insecure ladies do, and for those that do engage in 'wars', that's all it simply is... insecurity. A means to psychologically strike at someone when they feel threatened.

I in fact, extended my hand to BM in the beginning, she rejected, I withdrew and have always kept my distance. I don't engage with BM, that's DH's job.

Wink StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Anonymous's picture

I've always felt that, though I ended up getting bm fired and her phoney disability was denied and that was because she was harassing us from her place of work. So really she terminated herself, but we only wanted to be rid of her, lol. Not talk bad about her, not have her calling, not have her in our life so a stronger correction was needed for her. After that I think she was afraid to pee in our direction. I'm a bm and I cannot understand why someone cannot move on and just enjoy their child and be positive. She used to say horrible things to her child about us, and engage her family whom we didn't even know! All the while we rarely gave her a thought and chose to enjoy our life. If there was to be a book written about her it would be one page titled: A Wasted Life
Our success, was our revenge.

Sebbie's picture

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
Annon#2... What you are obviously overlooking is that the majority of the posters here HAVE NOT ACTED on any of their revenge fantasies..The "WAR" is continuously waged in one direction and that is at the DH who had the common sense to get out of the relationship with the obviously mental BM!!!Just because DH divorces bm in no way means that he has divorced his children, most DH that I know would gladly take their children today to have full time and permenantly!!! It is the BM that has chosen to divorce the children from their fathers!! Also the majority of stepmothers here would willingly raise their stepchildren with love , acceptance and consideration, whereas the bm's most of us have to deal with are more concerned with themselves and their jealousy and hatred of the ex and his new so/wife, than with their own children's needs, going as far as hurting the child and their ability to recieve the love waiting from their fathers and additional family members!!! To intintionally teach your own flesh and blood to be that hateful is a disgrace and though the bm is unreachable by the courts for what she is doing to her children, God almighty see's and one day what she has taught her children will come around and bite her in the ass!!!!!

happy's picture

Girl... and I quote "God almighty see's and one day what she has taught her children will come around and bite her in the ass!!!!!"

Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

laughterandtears's picture

We have, at some point, all thought about how wonderful it would be to have the life we have now W/O the BM in the picture, w/o the problems and the hassles, but like S.Graham says, WE HAVE NOT ACTED ON IT. I, for one, do not want to be responsible for the SK's growing up with a chip on their shoulder b/c I helped to confuse them or teach them that being hateful and spiteful is the to go. Anon #2, you tread on very thin ice around here.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.