Its been a very long while since I posted. I don't really know why. I am so filled with venom and disdain, I am making myself sick.
After everything that I have done to extend myself in order to make things better, things have only gotten worse.
I am now pushed to a point where I have to leave my partner in order to preserve my own health. It is the very last thing I want to do. It is bad for him, bad for his daughter, and very sad for me. But I cannot convince him that NOTHING we say or do to make ex-wife's life easier will EVER generate enough "good-will" to get her to behave in a civil sane manner.
Here is the latest: you tell ME.
Two weeks before the PSA was to be ratified in court, after five years waiting, after false accusations of child abuse. after breaking into our house, assaulting STBH, violating the restraining order REPEATEDLy, being arrested five times, after he gave her everything in order to get OUT of the marriage, after she ran into my car and so so so much more - she calls him to tell him that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
She tells him that she will not sign any divorce papers until she is "healed".
What does HE DO?????? He takes her to the hospital and stays with her as her ONLY support. He asks ME to take off work for three weeks and watch their daughter while she recovers.
Two days after her surgery, she has returned to her typical behavior - says she is feeling fine now and wants to have daughter back. I just have to eat three weeks lost wages after all fuck me, right? And his response? He is still hopeful that one day things will get better.
Things will NEVER get better. Any person with reasonable limits and healthy self-respect could see that. His ability to endure her bullshit at his and his daughters expense, is endless. Mine is not.
I want out. I want it over. I want never to have to deal with that psychotic woman and her complete disregard for anyone NOT her, again. Gone with the spending my money and energy on a five year old who spits on me, calls me names, punches me, ignores me, bites me and goes essentially unpunished for it because of how hard it all is on her.
Gone with being blamed for the dissolution of a marriage which ended YEARS before I even MET him.
Gone with the endless barrage of phone calls because she can't handle her own life. Gone with it all.
If I stay here, my life will look like this forever. I am so resentful that I feel angry MOST of the time. I HATE the feeling of anger living in my gut. I was a happy person before I walked in to the lives of these three.
If he cannot walk away from this woman, then I WANT OUT.