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DH's "Ultimatum" for SD19 LOL

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

So, I read my letter to DH Saturday afternoon, I refused to go out with him that evening and just stayed home. Father's Day morning rolls around and DH is at the gym early with SD19. When he returned later he was really sulking. DH never sulks. I ignored it for the most part, as I was getting ready to go see my parents. Both of DH's parents are gone, so DH was going to take the SDs and visit the cemetery.

I finally asked DH if he wanted to talk, "You look like you have something you want to say, DH." Nope, and he was really down in the dumps. I continued getting ready to go out and asked again, "Did something happen this morning with SD19?" Nope.

I went out to see my parents and later on my ride home, DH starts texting me.
DH: SD19 said when she leaves for school she won't come back. I will abide by that decision and won't interfere. So if you can deal with one more week you can have your house back. Is that acceptable?
Moon: Actions speak louder than words. Even if she isn't in our home, she needs to get some help, like this week.
DH: Yes, I told her that and she agreed. She knows she needs help. I told her to pick a therapist and let me know where she is going.

First of all, it's MY decision to not ever have SD19 come back. She left last Tuesday all high and mighty and was back here Wednesday night. All because her friend couldn't fit in a twin bed with her. Wouldn't want SD19 to be uncomfortable. When I got home Sunday night, I spoke with DH and asked him what the hell SD19 was doing?! She's been sitting on her ass since Wednesday and still hasn't made a therapist appointment?! I told DH that this is a perfect example of her sitting around and doing NOTHING. IN MY HOUSE. DH told me that he was going to give her an ultimatum. That when he was gone she needed to call a therapist and set up an appointment for after July 4th when she is back at school.

Or else she wasn't welcome back here ever again. (Don't make me laugh too hard, DH.)

I was the first one to tell her she had to leave, in the midst of that awful fight. Then she left and came back the next day. Then she tells DH on Sunday that after this week she'll never return. DH "tells" her that if she doesn't make an appointment she will never be welcome in this house again. Oh I'm laughing so hard at these two fools it hurts! SHE'S GOING TO THE BEACH AND THEN TO SCHOOL! So she'll be getting out of here anyway! You're not doing me any favors, DH! Neither is SD19!

The true test will be the next time, when she wants to come home for a weekend in the fall. Nope. Not if I still live here. I don't know what we'll do for Thanksgiving. DH can take SD13 and go meet SD19 somewhere. Winter break?......I do remember SD19 yelling at me that she "has her OWN apartment that (she) pays for," so she doesn't have to clear out of school for holidays. I know that she'll still be crying to Daddeeeee that she needs to come see him.

I have a good mind to get a storage unit for SD19 and put all of her shit in there. Better yet, I could just box it up and put it in our basement. In her closet that she doesn't use. The only thing in there is the HHog. Less effort for me, but I need to clear through my stuff first. I am relieved that SD19 will be gone Friday. I'll stay with my mother July 4th, because there's no way in hell I'll be here on July 5th. That's the day after the SDs get back from the beach and DH has to help SD19 move back to school. I won't be here for that clusterfuck.

I keep eyeing this way too big rental home online. Ironically the ad posted the day SD19 came home from school. I drove by last Sunday on the way to my parents and checked it out, from the outside. Esp the backyard for the pups. I need to go clear out two dresser drawers since DH is gone. I need to continue working towards my goal. DH leaves late tonight and comes back on Wednesday night.

I will keep chanting my mantra, "Whatever you think, will be." I'm thinking of better days. Oh, and the SDs didn't even get DH one thing for Father's Day. I even asked SD13 if she needed help with ideas a few weeks ago. She said she and SD19 already had something figured out. Spoiled brats. So glad they followed through for their Dad.

~ Moon

dood's picture

Good for you, Moon. Sounds like you know where things are coming from...

You know, I have always been thinking this ... I know you can stay with your parents, but they don't have a fenced yard, right? Can't you use some of your savings, and simply have a fence installed there? Maybe that gives you a few more options?

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I could, but I'm not big on staying with my parents for any length of time. Plus they have a male dog that wouldn't get along with mine, and they would never let 4 dogs inside of the house. I need my privacy and space. I would go to my parents for a temporary getaway.

I can't believe I only have four more nights with SD19! Thank you sweet Jesus!

~ Moon

robin333's picture

Are we taking bets on the therapy appointment being made?

I'm glad that you have a timeline! Is SD taking hedgehog with her to the beach? If not, your DH can have a new bed buddy (in basement of course ).

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I'm betting she doesn't make an appointment now for later, or any time. DH just told me yesterday that she would SEE someone this week, and in one day its been moved to after the 4th. HHog is staying here. DH can deal with it while SD19 is at the beach.

SD13 just realized she doesn't have swim trunks to go with her compression top. They must be with DH's Father's Day gift.

~ Moon

robin333's picture

Oh, the vanishing gift! Yeah, she's not going to make the appointment. I love how it is now her idea that she's not coming back.

I hope you find a place soon and can get some peace.

ChiefGrownup's picture

At 19 and with mom in heaven that young woman should be conspiring with her little sister well in advance to plan a great Father's Day gift for their ONLY LIVING PARENT. WTF is wrong with her? All that coddling he does and she can't even come up with a card and a tie once a year. Geez.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

SD19 has been here a lot. Not working any hours, either. Let's see....She worked the weekend of 6/13 -6/14, and I think Monday June 15th. The shit hit the fan here Tuesday 6/16 and she didn't work again until Sat 6/20. That was the last day she worked! Her job used to schedule her 5 or 6 days a week last summer.

So all she's doing is sitting around, eating all of the food here at home. I just went downstairs at 4:30am to let the dogs out and all of the lights were on in the kitchen. I think they were on in the basement, too, where she is. I shut the door so the dogs wouldn't go down there.

Three more nights. Today is the day she's supposed to call and make an appointment. From what DH said, the therapists she found online are down by school, but in the city, so it's still a long drive from school. Let's see her commute, navigate parking, get there on time.....

I can hear her calling DH saying they are booked up. God forbid she plan ahead for something. IF she goes to an appointment, she doesn't have the maturity to deal with the logistics.

Pass the popcorn, please.......

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I DID have to refill the plastic tub with dog food this morning at 4:30am. I mean, I just HAD to. I picked up the half bag I had and held it high above the plastic tub, letting it rain down, crackling like little fire crackers when it hit the bottom at 4:30 am in the morning. Oops, Princess, did I wake you from your slumber?

I also commented in another thread about maybe hiding ice cream from the SDs. They eat everything in 2 days! I took a Weight Watchers Box and emptied it, putting 2 ice cream bars in there for whenever. For me. The SDs can blame each other.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Yeah, I SHOULD do something dramatic. Since DH went out and purchased two guitars in the past 10 days. I figured it out when I got the credit card bill last week.

Oh but wait, that's HIS money now, as mine has been taken out of the equation...... }:) }:) }:) }:)

He feels guilty and calls it OUR money. I told him just know that I'm not making payments over 6 mos or a year, I'm paying it off IN FULL. Bwahahahahahah!

~ Moon

omgstop's picture

OMG Moon, that's so much going on and on a constant basis! I agree with everyone that says get rid of her stuff. Box it up and have it ready for that horrid bitch to talk with her. Take the hh to a no kill shelter where it has a change of getting adopted by people who will care for it if pwetty pwincess doesn't take it with her. Finally, KICK THAT MOTHER FUCKER TO THE CURB. OMG IS HE EVER A MAN-BABY.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

DH can't even really play guitar, but he got a wild hair up his ass and bought two. He spent $325 on an electric acoustic. Then he went and spent maybe $400 on an electric one. I haven't seen THAT bill yet.

I will let HHog stay here until July 5th. I haven't seen it, smelled it, nothing. It's an innocent animal, just like SD19. No, wait, damn! I was getting my animals confused there for a second.

Today I texted DH on his business trip and told him to have SD19 stop by the vet, if she was going to the next town over, to get one of my dogs an Rx that I had called in. Turns out, DH TOLD SD19 to go get the meds. The vet is about 40 minutes away, lol. So at least I don't have to go get them. Of course we were running out and DH didn't tell me. The meds cost $75. I'm not pressed to put that money back in SD19's account. She and DH will probably forget about it anyway. But not me...... }:)

This house will be so much nicer after a few more days. I'll be able to breathe some.

~ Moon

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I hear you, BB, but we have a wedding to go to this weekend and the vet is far away. Stupid DH didn't tell me we were low on meds so I threw it out there to him. SD19 has been sitting on her ass doing nothing, so I thought of it as a way to inconvenience her. I would have gone myself this Saturday, but the wedding is then, and it's in the other direction. I don't see this as engaging at all. It came from DH. }:) Also, DH is not very good at interpreting shitall, so I'm not worried! Blum 3

~ Moon

MissDirected's picture

I agree! Engaging or not, get any little drop of assistance or nice (albeit forced) deeds out of the little monsters whenever you can because these things are few and far between! Consider it a teeny tiny bit of payment for all of the things you've done for her. Dirol

bayers44's picture

I really wish this site had a like button for some of these comments!!

Coming from experience with my ex-hubby...I started to slowly squirrel away money so that he didn't notice because he made my life so miserable and he was so controlling. Every time I went to the store I got cash back without him knowing and hid it, but it was small amounts so that he wouldn't notice. If you are going to leave this guy I would do the same thing and make sure to use your joint account! And if you stay with have money saved for a surprise vacation.

Good Luck

IslandGal's picture

Holy shit on a fuck stick Moon!! Just finished reading your blogs..and ... never before in my life have I wanted to strangle someone so bad..just can't figure out which one first..your DH or your useless, pathetic excuse of a human, SD!!

If I read right..the house is yours.. woman - kick them out. For real and seriously! Throw both their asses to the kerb and let them learn to live in their own toxic drama. Be cruel to be kind to your DH even though the clueless cowardly wimp doesn't deserve it. He deserves to be thrown into some remote village in the the south pacific islands. Where men over there beat the shit out of their daughters when they disrespect their wives.. I remember calling my Mom a bitch when I was 15... I couldn't close my hands for 2 days. My dad made me go out and pick a stick. I thought I'd be smart and pick a thin one.. he used that on both my hands and hoo boy!! I nearly saw stars that day..Never, ever again did I do that!Good bloody grief!! OK I don't advocate violence.but goddamn your SD brings out all the mama bear protective instincts in me for you!

Your useless DH does not deserve any of your beautiful, loving heart. He doesn't deserve to have you by his side. The man is a useless spineless balless wonder and you deserve better than him!! Now how can I spell out a SPIT in his eye.. pttfft!! Asshole!

As for your fucked up SD - she is the way she is because of your useless DH. They should be thrown out and put out of your sight and mind - immediately... including that damn hedgehog of hers.. although I would be taking it to the animal shelter 'cos poor thing does not need to have such an awful selfish, useless piece of shit owner like SD.

Now I gotta go have a ciggie and calm down.. goddamn!!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

The house in both of our names, or they would have been gone long ago!!!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

So DH has been back in town since Wednesday, and Princess was supposed to schedule an appt while he was gone, for when she gets back to school. I have kept my mouth shut until this evening. I casually asked DH, "Oh did SD19 make her therapy appointment?" DH lied through his teeth. He said, "Uh....well, you know I forgot to ask her." Which means, NO. Like I always say, heaven forbid that Princess is ASKED to DO something.

I've been talking with a BFF from HS and he is really pissed for me. He went through all of this shit with his Ex years ago. She kept acting like an ass, and he left her. She's had three other kids by two other men, so BFF is smart to have left when he did. I have had no one to talk to, so it was nice to be able to vent to someone who knows me from waaaaay back.

Thank goodness for close friends. They are always there, no matter what, no matter how long its been since you last spoke with them.

~ Moon