SD19 and more of her crap
I asked DH if he saw the box I brought back in from the garage. It was just tossed out there, and was addressed to SD19. It was next to about 40 boxes that I broke down by myself from Christmas, waiting to be recycled. I just explained to DH last weekend that he needs to get on SD19 to clean up after herself -- the maid doesn't come to our house today (we don't have a maid). DH said he asked SD19 to flatten the box and tuck it away with the others. I'm sure she was pissed that I had brought it back in, but I'm done dealing with her clutter. Esp after "walking on eggshells" last weekend (see my last post). She is an enabled entitled bitchy brat.
So, DH and I are talking and I asked if he noticed that the box was shipped from a pet store? I said I have noticed that SD19 has been getting shipments from pet stores over the past few months. DH replied that it was probably something for her hedgehog that she was going to get. WHUT?? :O :? :O SD19 had begged DH for a hedgehog when she was home for Thanksgiving, and while SD13 and I were in the same room, he proceeded to tell her "No" because she wouldn't take care of it. SD19 said she even tried to get her BoyF to keep it at his apt at school and he didn't want the responsibility, either. So, I thought the story was over, NO hedgehog was going to be in my home at any future date.
I went off on DH calmly but firmly this morning. I said NO over and over and over! He had to ask ME to keep my voice down because the skids were in their rooms and he didn't want them hearing. For the first time in my life, I gave DH the hairy eyeball, looked him squarely and fiercely in his face and said "NO." I told him this was my house, this was my refuge, this was the only place I had to go to. I reminded him how much trouble we had last weekend with SD19 not wanting to remove week-old trash from her room. I reminded him how her room got hot in the summer and she liked to open the door to the hallway, heating up the entire upstairs of the house in July and August. I told him a hedgehog in an uncleaned cage would STINK up the hallway and upstairs. I asked who would take care of it when she went on vacation? I reminded him that YSD13 didn't even check on her hamster for a week and then found out it was dead for awhile, if she had looked in on it every day she might have noticed that he wasn't eating because it was DEAD and stinking. I told him SD19 isn't much better than SD13 even though she is 6 years older. SD13 is even more responsible than SD19 in a lot of ways. I reminded DH that SD19 doesn't like to DO anything that she's told and also doesn't like to be told NO.
I reminded DH that he had told SD19 NO over Thanksgiving and then she must have kept working on him, while he was wrapped around her little finger, asking and asking to get a damn hedgehog. I reminded him that we have 5 dogs already and neither SD19 or SD13 can be bothered or remember to give them fresh water during the day. These skids are home all day long sometimes and do NOTHING. I reminded DH that nothing would get done unless HE kept on them to do things and I wasn't confident that that was going to happen. I reminded him that he doesn't like to parent his skids and he wasn't going to change.
I did a lot of reminding, and DH looked at me and said, "You're right."
I started crying and told him how much it hurt me when SD13 didn't check on her dead hamster for a week. I told him that just last night, I got home from work and SDog the Peeing Wonder (likes to mark in the house so he's in a diaper) was sitting in the dark outside of the SDs rooms with no one paying attention to him. Neither SD could be bothered to let him into their room! I feel so bad for that dog. DH made excuses for the SDs and the SDog and I told him to knock it off. That his SDs are the way they are because of HIM. They want what they want when they want it. He puts on his Mickey Mouse ears and gives in. I also reminded that SD19 is here 4 months out of the year, and maybe if she contributed more to the household by helping out, then MAYBE I would agree to having a hedgehog. She doesn't do squat, so my answer is NO!!!
I put my face in my hands and sobbed, asking DH what in the hell were we supposed to do now? Now he has to tell SD19 that she can't have a hedgehog. DH tried to say he would just tell her she can't bring it here over the summer. I said that wasn't fair and he's screwed everything up because he told her "yes" already. I reminded him how "well" SD19 deals with stress and being told NO and that she would be a holy terror when he told her he'd changed his mind. I told DH this was on HIM and he screwed up big time. How dare he say OK to SD19 when we had agreed NO MORE PETS?!?!?! I asked why he went behind my back? I told him I had a right to know what was going on in my house!!
SD19 has decided to go back to school today instead of tomorrow. DH has not said anything to her yet about NO hedgehog. I told him not to throw me under the bus, either. This is his mistake! I fear that SD19 is going to stop at the pet store on her way back to campus and buy her hedgehog. Then it will be too late. Fingers crossed, but at least DH listened to me. I told him to quit making excuses for everyone including SDog. I told him he was killing me, just killing me. I may get up every morning, brush my hair, put on make up and go to work with a happy face, but he is absolutely KILLING me. I told him I couldn't take it anymore. My health is too fragile and he is sending me over the edge.
I'm pretty sure he got the message this time. }:)